Missing you

"You know how I said there was nothing you could do to make me hate you? Well I lied." I said through choked out sobs. "You said you'd be here. You said you'd stay. How could you lie to me? How dare you leave me right now."

It came out more angry than it should have but I couldn't help it. She left me when I needed her most. How can I forgive that? I should. It's not her fault. But I can't stand to think about her being gone.

"I'm sorry. I just wish you weren't gone, ya know? How am I going to survive without you?" I shake my head to clear the thought of actually having to live without her. I place my finger over my mouth to try to stop my trembling lip. It's too much to bare right now. "Okay, I have to go now. I love you. I'll talk to you soon. Promise me you'll be with me until I come back." I close my eyes to try to feel her response. Waiting for some kind of recognition. I hear a bird sing a familiar tune and take that as her answer. A nod my head and open my eyes, wiping away the tears that are threatening to come back down. I stare a little while longer then raise myself off the cold wet ground. "Bye big sis," I stare at the grave for a second longer then walk back to my car.