It had been six months since surviving the trauma of the 'chicken or egg' debacle. I was scarred, broken, and defeated after a lifetime of paradoxical thinking and dead-end philosophy.

Somehow I had made it through the worst of it. I even joined a support group. The dog that chased his tail. The crying crocodile. The forgetful fish. The rabbit with endless children. It was a victim support group for the animal phrases that prejudiced the lives of creatures of irony.

It helped. I made some friends. The nightmares let up. Until this bastard of a fox joined up. The guys usually go out for drinks after the meeting at the pub across the street. We get to the far end of the crosswalk and he chimes in with, "Hey Paul, why exactly did you cross the road?"

Now, I am full relapse. A rapid return to existentialism has washed over me as I can think of nothing other than why I crossed the road. I have returned to the nihilistic feathered entre that wastes his time on meaningless riddles to never find an answer. For I am a chicken, destined to wonder after order of eggs and meaningless roads. I am a chicken, the answers will forever elude me.

#satire #humor #chickenandegg

It was November, the farm had been taken over. He notices all his friends are starting to go missing. One by one, picked away from the flock. Most of them were turkeys. He doesn't understand why the humans always want turkey in November. But they're gone.

He has lasted 3 years on that farm. That was before the humans noticed him. He had benn getting bigger. Big man on campus get first choice at dinner. He decided it was time to leave. Before the humans noticed him.

So, he fled across the street to the wild unknown of Wisconsin.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I've always imagined that there had to be a very good explanation as to why the chicken was in such dire need of crossing the street, and now I think I narrowed it down to three possible options. The chicken was either late for a job interview, trying to see a family member at the hospital, or was late to pick up his kid from school.

Although it's a chicken they too, like the rest of us, must bring home money for the family. He was probably applying for a job, barely cutting it on time, but got stuck at the traffic light. He was, no doubt, stressing out about being on time and being late. He probably couldn't afford to go back home to his wife and say that he blew another interview.

Or the poor chicken had a loved one in the hospital. They were probably on their death bed and the poor chicken just wanted to catch those final words before they left this Earth. In which case, that chicken had every right to be worried in crossing that road. Every second is probably of the essence and he's trying to make every second count. I respect that.

Lastly, the poor chicken probably was just trying to pick up his son from school. He was maybe running late and he didn't want some stranger kidnapping his son. He was probably trying to rush past the light on the road in order to find his scared son waiting outside his school by himself. Chickens aren't legally allowed to drive, so it's repectable that he's late because he can't travel miles as fast teh automobile.

All things considered, I don't think we should judge the chicken for crossing the road. He probably has just as rough a life as any of us. He probably just needs some support to continue through his life. Let's all give some support to the poor chicken!