Never good enough
The wind is always blowing when you're blinking and behind your ice-blue eyes the night gradually falls through the horizon. You're sitting outside. The smoke of your cigarette embraces my scent and they become a cotton cloud. This doesn't fit us. I washed your touch off myself with honey-milk shower gel. We became a cliché. The Canal is silver today. You miss me every time when you're staring at the frigid sky and you see the soft condense-lines of every airplane. Self-lies. You think that you should have kissed the fear out of my soul before you choked me. It didn't work out. We are trampling in the mud as we always did when we saw each other. I unchain my legs from your body and I fall over the carmine leaves. Our body heat evaporates like the coffee steam in the morning. I was the wrong girl but deep inside you know that I can't be replaced. Dead people can't cry so just bury me in the rain.
Deceive
You left me. Wandering hands in hands with your gray, flat and meaningless daily life. All with your stupid excuses but you left with love, hope and trust. Where am I now? I left everything behind. Wordlessness. Seas, rivers, and mountains separate us now from our regrets. I killed our future. I killed our past. I killed all the memories and you have no clue. So who is the real deceiver?
Wake up, wake up
Finally, he found a shelter. Exhausted sigh. Thunderbolts. Escaping, waiting for someone to take him back to the so-called reality from his dream. He could not understand why are they haunting him. Who are they? Eternal abyss. Feel of the flossy sky. Screaming vocal cords. Leave me alone! What did I do?
He drowned in the grass. He gave up all his hopes and desires. He gave up his hope which was the glue to keep together the pieces of his consciousness. Fighting against his mind. Resistance.
He got up. It is the same hell he went through a thousand times. Fighting every day with the infinite time for more minutes to survive. Because of an unknown aim.
I wish it was just a bad dream.