Afraid of touch.
You are like that song I can't get out of my head
like that specific lyric I want to sing again
A sensation of euphoria that is spread,
from my heart, from my back, from my brain.
I'm afraid of thinking about your name
because you can make me fall in love
I hate this mysterious game
I feel like I have something to prove.
My pupils get bigger when I see you
Is my thirst of attention calling for affection
I'm loving your presence with every sensation
The only thing I want is a word from you.
I need something that fills my empty heart
My loneliness makes me daydream
about an unconditional love that would scream
"I'll love beyond the day my body is under the earth".
Endless
I'm a failure, aren't I?
My body is fully functional, my intelligence unlimited and my creativity overflowing.
But I am a failure, am I not?
My reflection looks at me with disgust and in my chest always forges a heavy feeling that brings salty tears.
I am sure that I am a failure.
My mind covers my world with a gray veil and causes me blindness. I want to see the bright side but the abyss consumes me. I have the power in me to surface and breathe fresh air, but not the will to do so.
I am the failure.
What a confusing outcome, for I am the failure of my own mind game. And this cruel world takes advantage of such misfortune as it allows me to be the victim of my own villain. I seek a savior who does not exist for it who possesses the solution refuses to give it to me, who can stop it sits in a corner wallowing in its pain.
There is no end, is there?
No, there is not. But there is a way out, which does not exist. I can defeat those feelings, but I am weak. I have everything in my hands, but it slips through my fingers. There is no end...there is no end.
The curse of the souls.
A beautiful evening rises before the eyes of the kneeling person, peace and forgiveness fill her chest.
"Your kind soul is not going to stop me from reaching my goal."
Before the eyes of the weapon bearer, a haunting night rises, with a red sky and strong winds. Anger and sadness fill her chest.
"Your broken heart has blinded you, now your sadness guides you."
The cold metal of the weapon touches the forehead of the gentle soul.
"Don't you dare attack my scars, it was you who left me behind bars."
For the first time, a tear runs down the skin of the one who looks at it with love. A warm feeling burns the chest of the soul.
"I did not leave you behind, you erase me from your mind."
In life they say that you must be good if you don't want to go to hell, but little they know that there is no such a thing like paradise. Since your birth you build your own torture, that torture is called life and when you die the only one who has a right to remind you your sins is your own soul.
So there it was, the kind soul was the past and the angry one was the last to passed away. Both disagree about what they have done in life so they discuss it in hell.
"You are the true killer, and the time is no healer, because the wound is still getting bigger."
"You're a coward then, because you've never pull the trigger, so don't blame for the things that you've been believing."
Rage and pain cross the eyes of the sad soul, the gun does a creeping sound, is ready to kill, is ready to spill some guts out.
"I will never forgive you for what I have become."
"Then you have to blame yourself for this outcome."
The last words of the kind soul have already been said, then the bullet goes out killing everything it encounters. The dead soul falls to the ground and the satisfaction of the angry one lasts for a minute, when the pain in her chest infests the feelings of freedom. Behind revenge rests sweetness, the kind soul now it has the trigger. Both lie on the ground, they are souls; they cannot die, they live in a horrendous circle where each claims their truth.
Now the tables have turned, and the sad soul kneels and the kind soul confronts it.
"Your kind soul is not going to stop me from reaching my goal." says the sad soul.
"Your broken heart has blinded you, now your sadness guides you." replies the kind soul.
And the endless circle begins without an end. An eternity of rain because of a life of pain.
Uncomfortable truth.
A broken molde is waiting
for the soul to stop breaking
"I don't know what you're looking for", it says.
I don't know who you are, thinks.
You are a murderer of dreams
to comfortable in your delusions
what a dysfunctional team,
body and mind are in destruction.
It hurts how gray you are in your mind
when the mirror screams what you don't like
you promise to heal the wounded brain
but you can't get the demon away.
I’m disappointed on your closure
oh well, sorry you don't have one
such a pity the amount of pressure
put on your shoulders to be no one.
The permanent solution is in your head,
the poison is trying to get ahead
to your pure feelings, almost dying
the sorrow is your companion, is always there hiding.
What a disgraceful present
the past was expecting more
But now the future is resent
now I don't want to be you anymore.
Demon in heaven
I cannot help myself of not liking this word
Demon, for me is how I live in this world.
There was a time I red a book, and this book said,
what if Lucifer was uncomprehend by God?
Then an injustice was done, and an innocent was thrown away.
The world feels like a judgmental thought,
The world is like a fear cult,
don't play different or they might kill your heart.
Then you seek for heaven, so you go back to the right path,
so that vanished demon can heal the soul.
But a demon cannot live in heaven,
so the demon has to suffer in hell.
Or also...
There is a show called Disenchanted where a character named Luci (Lucifer) the personal demon of the Princess Bean; it always leads her to make bad decisions that challenge the princess's environment. But in the end, a demon like him finds unconditional friendship. Although, the most remarkable thing about the character is his sarcastic, carefree and daring personality. So the username is inspired in his nature (a demon) and his story.
The hidden true.
There is a secret story that no one wanted to tell and everybody wanted to hide. As we now from the infinite story's about Greek mythology, Zeus had a large number of descendants, but among all of them there is a hidden daughter, μπλε, "Ble". She was locked up by her father, his excuse was that "she has no gift, no grace, she is not worthy of Olympus".
Vanished from her home she found herself sad and with no purpose. She cried golden tears that dry up in the white clouds, she was living very far away in the sky, the red aggressive sky. Up there the light was darker, the winds where more violent. She didn't like living up there.
One day, remembering the mockery at her expense, Ble dared herself to find her gift, what she could give to the gods and the mortals. She caught in a silver bowl, her golden tears, plucked a hair from her blonde head, and put her left blue eye with everything else, those were her offerings, her body was going to create a new element that would demonstrate her gift. She prayed to the gods who controlled the sun and the rain, the moon and the darkness. She called all the gods who called her away to witness her miracle. Her eye turned white, her hair moved with strength thanks to the wind, her chest opened showing a bright orb that blinded all those who were there. In just a few moments everything went normal, everyone were expecting but, nothing happened.
The jokes about the banished woman did not take long to arrive. But she waited patiently, kneeling in the comfort of the cloud. Suddenly, a roar caught everyone's attention, the sky began to crack, large parts of the red giant shattered everything in its path upon impact with the ground. The gods, looked stunned at all the destruction that Ble was causing, Zeus, furious prepared his lightning to impact against his daughter but a ray of sunshine and a clarity stopped him. When the sky finished falling it showed a blue color, the beauty of the new sky left them surprised but still angry for the destruction it caused. Ble sat calmly knowing she had protection, proud of her creation for she had not only painted the sky pure but welcomed a new world.
The others with a reproachful look leave, knowing there is nothing they can do. The goddess Ble had demonstrated her gift, and the blue sky was to be a reminder of her power and presence.
She lived among the clouds and the sun, the moon and the night. Never put a foot in the Olympus, never needed to do. Her greatness was remembered in the legends and it was known as "the goddess of the new world" or "the goddess of the blue miracle".