Dear acescribbler,

To quote coldplay - ’Nobody said it was easy,

No one ever said it would be this hard’

this line resonates with me a lot lately,

Sometimes things get very hard and it’s difficult to see past it, it is difficult to think that this phase will pass but it does. There are bad times and there will be good times. Maybe even at the same time.

I am no professional and I don’t even know if my advice will make sense to you, but I will tell you what I do to feel better.

Talk to a friend, or a relative it helps when you feel like atleast there is one person in the world who understands you or that you aren’t alone.

There always is that one person who will listen to you and tell you it’s going to be okay and you can get through this. If there isn’t then you should tell someone to tell you that it’s going to be okay. (it is okay to ask for what you need.)

Good books or a tv show helps take your mind of things, just until you’re ready to face the world again.

A hot bowl of noodles or soup does wonders. A walk in the sun.

There will always be something wrong in the world, something that we can’t control, something we can’t see past. Just reading the news every morning terrifies me. I have no idea how the future will turn out but I have decided to distract myself at times when it gets too hard, there is nothing wrong in being a little ignorant.

That said - there is this book called ‘How to come alive again’ by Beth Mccoll that gives you a good insight on how you can go about seeking professional help and what you should expect.

Now as for your parents, they love you no matter what and yes sometimes they get hysterical (atleast mine do). They might not even understand what you are feeling or it might even make you anxious on how you should go about talking to them. You should drink water, sit them or one of them down and just tell them to listen to you and say something when you’re done. It might make them worry about you but it will help you and them understand each other better. They have been around more than us, so they might actually have helpful things to say.

The world needs someone like you, don’t give up on us yet.

Warmly,

Icemocha_latte

Zoe was leaning against the store wall, watching the rain drop from the night sky while she smoked her cigarette.

She couldn’t believe that she had just said those god-awful things to Derek. She was raging with anger back then and she just wanted to hurt someone, the way she was hurting. Derek was waiting back in their apartment and he didn’t do anything wrong but she had to take it out on someone. He was always understanding of her moods but she wasn’t sure if he would understand this time.

I mean she had promised herself that this time it would be different and she would communicate instead of lashing out but past was hell bent on repeating itself.

Life as she knew it was going to change yet again, her ‘husband’ had found her, the man she been running away from all these years, the man who she had been hiding from, the man who caused her to change her identity and leave her life behind, had accidentally walked in the Coffee shop she worked at.

Seeing him after all these years had shocked her to the bone, she thought he had forgotten about her. Her eyes welled up and all the memories of him that she had repressed came back to her. She froze in place.

He walked up to her with that disgusting, smug smile that she had once fallen in love with and moved his hand to touch her elbow.

“Hi Zoe, fancy meeting you here.”

Her worst nightmare was now a reality, she didn’t know if she should scream or run or throw the coffee on him, but she was just frozen in place.

“Won’t you kiss me hello? I have missed you, there is a lot we have to catch up on.”

She wanted to push him away but she was too shocked. He was about to say something more but just then a baby started crying and Zoe was snapped out of her frozen state, she rushed to the counter before he could catch up, threw the apron and hoped to God there was no one at the back door.

#fiction

I am not someone who is good at writing down my thoughts, I am someone who takes up a writing project and gives it up the next second, because it’s hard to read my thoughts on paper.

I think it is also because I put a lot of pressure on my writing. There is an entire checklist that it has to cross-off - it has to make sense, it has to make the reader laugh, I have to come across as a person who can have one valid thought.

I don’t want to come off as a frivolous person.

Then I decided that to hell with it, we have to step up and do the things we really want to do and not have the fear of being judged by complete strangers stop us.

We have to speak up before our time comes and we stop existing.

No one knows what happens after death, no one knows where we go.

So, let me start by telling Mary Oliver and you -

'What I plan to do with my one wild and precious life.'