Burn the Child.
They told me to burn him. Sweep his ashes away. Forgive and forget all the aching in my head. They told me he was on the side of the broken. The deranged.
They told me to find him. They told me to burn away the devils and demons. There was certainly no place for something like that here. In this place where I grew up and no one seemed so terrible.
Never like him.
The burning thing. The one they told me to destroy. How strange his nature was, laughter behind his red rimmed eyes. Oh how the town would weep for him.
Oh how their cries rang. The ill they felt thinking of him.
But I couldn't do it. I could not burn the child.
I lay awake in my shoebox bedroom, thinking of him. Why did he have to be burned? Why not shot? Poisoned? Why the flames?
Most of my thoughts were like that. My mother and father told me I had no choice. I had to take away the sinful child. If I would not burn him to ash, my home would never be safe.
But how quickly I forgot.
The child still lives. He lives in me and comforts me. My parents think I am weak. They believe I have not the strength to burn the child.
But you see I did not want to rid myself of him.
When I was a little boy he was me entirely and I loved myself for the things my hands could do. I could go hours by myself, drawing little doodles. No point in them. My parents never saw the little thing underneath their sons eyes. How dark and sweet his eyes really were underneath the forest greenery.
But I suppose I should explain. As I grew I also acquired a gentle taste for tricks. I loved Halloween for then I could trick and it was expected of me. People were supposed to be able to be whatever they wanted then, on that night.
But they did not expect me to take a life. Neither did I until I was sitting beside a boy with a lawn dart through his throat. I think it was my eleventh Halloween and whoever the boy had been, I was sure he had annoyed me. He hadn't liked the tricks I suggested. He had been so very dull.
I do believe the child was still there. My child. He came back for me then and I laughed for I had missed him. He liked the trick. It was quite the thing. To take away the boy's breath.
He liked my tricks. He promised to stay as long as I wanted him. So you see I can't let him go.
If I do I will be alone for the rest of my days
Lily was awoken by a buzzing sound. She fumbled blindly trying to make the noise stop, sleep still resting in her eyes. It took her a moment to realize it was her phone ringing not her alarm. Who in their right mind calls someone at 1:30 in the morning? She looks lazily at her phone and sat up, instantly awake, as she realized who was calling.
"Luca?" She answered.
"I'm sorry, Lil" Luca's voice resonates softly through the phone.
"Luca?" Lily repeated as her heart raced. Nothing good comes from phone calls made in the middle of the night. Least of those that start off with an apology. "What's wrong?"
"I just....." He exhales shakily "I just can't do this anymore." He gasped sounding as if he was choking on his words. "I'm sorry. I just.......I love you." He paused for a breath as his words began to slur "did you know that?" He mumbled something she couldn't quite hear "I just wanted you to know. You know?"
"Luca? Where are you? Are you home?" Lily springs out of bed tripping slightly as she tries to maneuver out of her blankets.
He laughs quietly under his breath as if he could see her "You are the only good thing. The only reason. I wanted......You......I..... Forgive me?" She hears a loud crash. Followed by silence.
"LUCA!!!!!! LUCA!!!!!" She found herself running out the front door. She had to get to him. She had to know that he was alright. Her blood boiled and her bare feet stung against the pavement as she rounded the corner to his house. Barely pausing on the front porch before barreling into the front door. "LUCA!!" She scans the dimly lit living room trying to catch her breath "LUCA!!"
Upstairs, he must be upstairs. Her feet barely touch the ground as she flies to his room. Her body freezing the instant she sees him. Crumpled on the floor. His hair shielding his face from her view. "No. No. No" her voice barely a whisper as she makes her way over to him slowly. "Luca?" Her trembling hand reaches for him as she falls to her knees. "Luca? Can you hear me?" Her hand pauses just out of reach. Tears flowing from her eyes "Luca?" She gently touches him pushing the hair out of his face. His eyes opened but rolled back in his head. Vomit stringing from his lips. The warmth of his skin against her fingertips snapped her out of the shock. She looked down at her phone that she had a death grip on. Quickly dialing 911.
"911. What is your emergency?"
Lily's voice hitched and the words refused to be spoken.
"Can you speak?" The woman's voice wrapped itself around Lily in a calm comfort.
Life was happening in broken stages and blurred memories. Time passing both too quickly and way too slowly. As the 911 dispatcher tried to keep Lily calm and focused. Lily's arms burned through countless chest compressions until the paramedics took over. She hadn't realized they'd arrived. Pulling her away slowly. Asking her questions she wasn't sure if she even answered.
She found herself at the hospital waiting room with little memory of getting there. A police officer had been kind enough to drop her off. Taking her home briefly to gather her shoes. She paced the long corridors for an eternity drowning in the noisy chaos of the ER on a Friday night.
Jumping each time a doctor or nurse walked by. Praying for news. But none came until morning when they were able to track down his mother. She waltzed in, dressed to the nines, make-up painted perfectly upon her face, not a hair out of place. She begins speaking to the nurse at the desk. Hushed voices Lily can't make out.
"Ms. Lords?" Lily's voice cracking "is he" she stops herself unable to finish the sentence.
"Oh Lilian" she gushes "look at you. What an utter mess." Clicking her tongue and shaking her head. Lily instinctually looks down at her clothes. "To go out of the house while still in your pajamas. Don't you have any respect for yourself?"
"Excuse me?" The words seethed through Lily's lips "I'm sorry. I didn't have time to get dressed or do my hair, I was too busy trying to save YOUR son."
His mother laughs. Shaking her head "Dear sweet child. You should know better than waste your time on that boy. He is completely hopeless." Lily's eyebrows creased as tears formed in her eyes. "Honestly. If you keep making that face you'll need Botox before you are 20."
The nurse calls his mother to follow her. She shuffles in her too high of heels. Pausing momentarily looking back at Lily. "Well are you coming? God knows he'll want to see you when he wakes up."
"He's okay?"
Her mother shrugs "Apparently he can't even kill himself properly. Honestly, drug overdose. With these genes" she laughs.
When God is Silent We Dance With the Devil - Who is more then willing to take our hand
Shield your eyes from the summers light
Fall on bended knee
Call out
Between the tear stains and the lost breath
Asking for answers and guidance
Met with only silence
You turn your back
The devil smiles
And takes your hand
Promising to ease the pain
But in truth
He is torturing you
And sucking your life away