The Revolving Door of Trepidation
Chapter 1 - Umbra
I’m falling into a dark abyss. Below me, I see nothing but space, blank space. Falling, falling further down, further into the unknown. There is nothing around me. I am gliding through an endless pool of darkness. I reach my hand out to make sure that I am still here, and I see it glowing in the darkness. My hand appears to be pale, paler than I have ever seen it. I look like a ghost, one that has been forgotten and left alone, abandoned in an empty hole. I reach out my other hand touching it to my pale fingers. They stand out among the endless nothingness. The glow shows me that I am still here. Despite the nothingness, I am still here, I still exist. I feel each of my fingers, smoother than I remember. Through them, I feel each bone, sticking out, jabbing into my skin. Then, once I am sure that my hands are in front of me, I slowly lift my legs in front of my eyes. I examine the thinness of them, the appearance that perhaps I am a ghost. I don’t remember being this pale or skinny. I don’t remember how I ended up in this black hole, sucking me further down. Where I am, I do not know.
I feel a breeze blow against the back of my neck, lifting up the tiny hairs and sending a rush of chills down my spine. I try to turn around to find the location of the air, but I have nothing to push against, forcing me to remain facing the same direction. I try to move my legs again, but they seem to be stuck in jello as if the endless darkness is hardening around me. I can no longer move any parts of my body. I begin to feel a coldness inside my soul, swelling up, engorging my insides. I no longer feel anything. The darkness creates a numbness inside of me as if I have no emotions. The numbness begins to take over, preventing me from feeling any stress or confusion towards what is happening. It prevents me from thinking, entering my brain and taking over. The darkness moves my legs and arms, pushing me forwards instead of downwards. Now, instead of falling, I am running, running further into the abyss.
Suddenly, the darkness seems to become lighter as the scene starts to change. As I run, objects appear all around me. They glow in the gloom, changing the color of everything around me. These strange objects fly by me nearly hitting me. I try to get a close look as to what they are, but they move so fast that I only see a blur. My legs start to hurt as I continue to be forced forward. Finally, when the pain begins to become unbearable, I am stopped, no longer moving down or forwards. Finally, I can get a good look at the objects surrounding me. I look around, trying to focus on each item, trying to figure out what they are. As I examine each, I start to regain feeling throughout my body. First, my head seems to defrost as I regain control of my arms and legs. I can finally think straight, but as I am able to decipher my thoughts, I start to realize the strange situation I am in. My brain begins to question everything. I start to wonder why there are so many dolls going by me, nearly hitting my face. I begin to question why each of the dolls appears to have some sort of defect indicating that they have been discarded, considered useless. One doll sports a beautiful pink dress, bringing color to this endless darkness. It would seem that the doll is perfect, but upon further inspection, she appears to have a burnt face. The doll's skin seems to be melting off and covered in black soot. Next to her, I spot a similar looking creature that is missing eyes and has yellowing teeth. I turn away from the two defects to find another doll with what appears to be ten fingers on each hand. Behind that doll, I spot another with red marks all over its body, and I think I see blood dripping from the cuts. They continue to fly by me, some appearing to smile at my distress.
The dolls faces seem to change, contorting into irregularities. Instead of avoiding me, they now seem to be trying to hit me. They fly, closer and closer towards me. Some grab my clothes, pulling them and ripping them apart. They seem to grow long nails that they use to scratch me, making my skin bleed. Their teeth grow sharp, pointy edges. They growl at me, making biting motions as they rip me apart. Then, they start muttering things to me, slowly getting louder and louder until all I can hear is a high pitched scream. They surround me, stopping my senses and overriding everything.
“You are so ugly!” The dolls scream.
“You deserve to die!”
“No one cares about you!” The dolls shout, tearing apart my brain, destroying my feelings. First, I lost the ability to move, then I lost my emotions, afterwards I lost parts of my body as the dolls ripped away my skin, and now they are attacking my mind, destroying the last bit of my humanity. It is all too much. It’s as though they want me dead, but not so far gone that I am unable to understand what is happening. I try to distract myself from the horrible words they are uttering, so I reach my hands in front of me to make sure they are still there. Instead of the pale stumps that they once were, they are red. The redness seems to reflect the darkness around me, standing out. Blood drips off of my hands at the same time that skin falls. I start to see bone appear from beneath. Then, I try to move my legs, but I can’t see them. Everything starts to magnify. The darkness seems to get darker, the blood seems to appear faster, and the noise that the dolls are making gets louder. I can no longer try to ignore what is happening. I can’t handle the pain and the terror anymore.
“Leave me alone!” I scream, but no words emerge from my mouth. It’s as if what I am trying to say has become absorbed by the darkness. All I want is for everything to stop. I want to be dead. I want the darkness to be gone. I want the dolls to stop terrorizing me. I try again and again to utter words, but I am unable to say a single thing. Even if I could talk, it wouldn’t matter because there is no one around to see my pain.
All of a sudden, when I have started to give up on everything, the dolls disappear, leaving me in an endless silence. I am thankful for the quiet despite how unsettling it is. Then, before I can enjoy my peace, I begin to fall. Again, I am falling through the endless pit of darkness. As I fall, my wounds begin to heal, returning them to their original paleness. The darkness starts to seep from my soul allowing me to regain full control of my emotions. As I am falling, I start to feel normal again as if I had just imagined everything that had happened to me. I am finally beginning to regain comfort when everything changes. Now, instead of falling through a pit of endless darkness, below me I notice a large wooden door. The door ahead of me is closed and engraved in scarlet letterings. The words drip as the door rotates to face vertically. I stop falling when I reach the area in front of the wooden paneling. I look ahead of me, trying to read the words. Enter here or you shall never feel peace. I look around unsure of whether or not to go through the door. I realize that I could take this chance and possibly survive, or I could stay stuck in this pit for who knows how long. I decide to take the leap of faith, and I move my legs, pushing against the cold air around me.
I shove the wooden door open, and I step through, out into a whole new world. The darkness is replaced by a bright light, the brightest white that I have ever seen. Everything is different past this door. Instead of the terrible pain I had felt in the pit, I now feel joy, a joy so immense, I can’t help but smile. I turn back to inspect the darkness that I came from, but before I can see anything, the door closes leaving me trapped in this new unknown place.
I turn towards this strange new location, uncontrollably full of happiness. The cloud that was once inside me seems to be gone, replaced with a new light. My insides feel as if they are burning up, and all I want to do is scream with excitement, and I do. This time I am able to talk, and I start cheering despite my confusion as to what is happening. Suddenly, I don’t care anymore, and I don’t want to leave this beautiful place. I scream until my throat swells up, and I am no longer able to create any words. Despite my inability to talk, I feel no pain. I somehow feel at peace, perfectly calm and so sure that I am okay. As soon as I am feeling at peace with myself, the light surrounding me subsides enabling me to fully understand where I am.
Wood surrounds me. Wooden walls, a wooden floor and wooden doors. I seem to be in a very old house. My legs move forward of their own volition, and below me the wood creaks and moans. All the odd emotions that I had felt seem to have left my body, and I just now seem to be returning to normal. I urge my legs to stop moving, and they finally listen, leaving me standing in the middle of this never ending hallway.
Now that I have control over myself, I try to remember what happened, but I can’t see past the darkness. The first thing I have any recollection of is falling. I have no idea how I ended up in the dark pit. I have no idea how I ended up in this wooden house. I can’t remember my name. I can’t remember my parents. I know nothing but that I seem to be trapped in this neverending terror. Maybe there is someone here who can tell me what is happening. As if hearing my thoughts, I hear a loud giggle emerge from somewhere further down the hallway. I sprint towards the noise, shouting for help. Then, I see a small child appear from the shadows, laughing and smiling. She looks at me stopping for a second to take in my presence, and then she is gone, running fast down the hallway.
“Wait!” I shout, regaining my voice and picking up my pace. I run after her, faster than I have ever ran before. My legs start to burn until I can no longer feel them, but somehow I can’t catch up to the young child ahead of me. As I finally get closer to her, the walls seem to shift. They curve in on me starting to absorb me as part of them. I am now stuck to the side of the wall unable to move. The wall starts to turn, bringing me upside down until I am above the girl. She looks up at me, laughing and pointing. Then, before I can ask for help, she disappears back into the shadows. Now, I am left completely alone on the ceiling of the building. Unsure of what to do, I stand there looking around, wondering how I ended up in this situation.
Finally, after hanging for what felt like hours, I hear a creak as the wall appears to start moving again. Instead of lowering me to the ground, I am pushed forward. I start moving at a slow pace but that doesn’t last for long. I begin to speed up until everything around me is a blur, and I can no longer determine what my surroundings are like. All of a sudden, I am thrown from the ceiling into a door that has appeared out of nowhere. I am shoved through that door against my will and with no knowledge of what is ahead of me.
Title: The Revolving Door of Trepidation
Genre: Horror
Age Range: Young Adult
Word Count: 50,000 - 70,000
Synopsis: Morrigan, a teenaged girl, is trapped inside an old, rickety mansion. All she wants is to find a way out, so she goes through each door in hopes that one of them will lead her outside. Instead of finding an exit, she is thrown into different versions of her fears where she is forced to live out her worst nightmares.
Why your project is a good fit: This book displays the fears and insecurities of many teens in the 21st century.
You Have All The Power
Listen. All I ask is to be heard. All I want is to be understood. All around you people scream; they cry for help. Pain fills them taking up everything, preventing them from living. Meanwhile, you are in your house, happy, comfortable and warm, surrounded by your loved ones. There are people struggling, trapped inside their own minds, trapped in a world where the only feeling they know is pain. People struggle everyday while you live on, ignoring the problems. You act as though if you pretend they don't exist, their pain will go away. You pretend to care about the problems of others, but really what do you do to help them? Do you offer your condolences? Do you ship them off to some place where they can be trapped again? You tell yourself that there is nothing that you can do to help, but there is, there is always something more you can do. Why do the bare minimum when we have so little time to live? Enjoy your life, but help others enjoy their lives. Every second that passes, you keep on with your life while someone is left in the shadows struggling to be heard. There is so much you can do, so much that can be done to help. All around you people are drowning in their sorrows. All around you they ask for help to never be heard. You can change everything. You can change the world. You can save someones life. You just have to try. Stop ignoring the problems in the world. Stop ignoring the silent pleas of the needy. Listen.