Bear’s Night Out

The name's Bear, Teddy Bear. I know what you're thinking, but no, this is not one of those cutesy stories where girl loses her bear and he magically finds his way back home, and no, I do not wear a raincoat and I certainly Do Not live in the woods with a tiger and pig. No, this, this is the story of my valiant battle with the THING living under your bed.

When you are sound asleep, there are creatures lurking under your bed. Their sole mission, is to hurt you. No one knows for certain how they got there or where they came from. The only thing we (the Bears Against Monsters or BAM) can do is keep that at bay until we can uncover more truths and eradicate them from under your bed.

Imagine this: you are sound asleep, snuggling up to your favorite furry friend (that's me) and there is a rustling going on beneath us. You roll over and I sneak from under the clutches of your arm. I slide down the bed post and get into my attack ready position; this is where the fun begins. My weapon of choice, a spear that I fashioned from an old coat hanger and a broken shard from a sippy cup that I sharpened to a point. I position myself with my weight on my back foot with my spear pointed underneath the bed. I slowly creep into the darkness to face my enemy.

The gentle glow of the night light illuminates my path as I walk further and further to my potential demise. I approach a long creature with piercing green eyes and a wriggling orange tail. How menacing is this beast that they can look me dead in the eye all the while thinking and plotting how they can harm my human. Little do they know that their cockiness will be their folly. I leap forward as it swats at me but I jump so high that it misses me and I land promptly on their backside. I grab ahold of their scruff and kick my heels into their sides to make them run around like a wild steed. It's at this point that they kick and jolt up and down that they are smacking into the top of the bed so they sprint out from underneath and make way for the door. Just as they are inches from the oepning, I do a backflip off of them and land precisely on the nightstand, where I lay my spear to rest.

You are miraculously sound asleep. I crawl into bed, under the covers and safely within your arms. You roll over and give me a squeeze; not even realizing the battle that I just went through. But I don't even care... I would fight a whole army of furry beasts the humans call, "cat," to keep you safe.