The first real hurt put on me was by a group of adolescent bullies. My face stung and throbbed from the impact of a stone wall.

The taste of blood fresh on my tongue. Kidneys crying out after the over-priced sneaker impaling.

That blindside attack put things in perspective for me at a young age. I was ready to die. The brutal laughter of the group was meant to dim my spirits. It fueled a fire that not one of them saw coming.

I healed, I rested, and I grew stronger. Not physically but in a way that I hadn't yet experienced. This would not define my character. Refusing to press charges and submit to other’s means of handling my situation surprised the ’rents but that couldn't give me the satisfaction I yearned for. The demand was that I handle my own.

The hierarchy of the group wasn't complex. As the most well-off and loudest of the spoiled rotten gang this kid took the lead. Followed by some mindless sheep that wannabes look down on he had to go down first. His house wasn't too far from the bus stop where the brutality went down. This morning was going to be it. My leg quivered with adrenaline. The spiked piece of wood slowly splintering in my clenched fist.

He strolled by the bush where I crouched. The demeanor of reckless abandon only adding to my rage. He should be watching his back and I was going to show him why…NOW! The piece of wood protruded from his back like some sort of familiar G.I. Joe accessory. Then the blood started running down. He dropped to his knees and reached back to try to figure out why, where, and how this came to be. “Hey asshole, remember me?”

I screamed as I kicked his ribs. My voice tremored with the rage. Tears filled my eyes. His lackeys heard the ruckus and made their way from the morning gathering.

This is it. I’m ready for you bitches now! The focus on me wasn't a rabble, though. It was a respectful awe. Not being ready for that reaction, I did the one thing that my mind defaulted to at that age and ran home.

The next day when no mention of the incident was brought to my attention I understood…While this may have not made me a man, I was no longer innocent to this level of perception.

Fear is a control that you voluntarily release.

Stay strong.

What else is there to life but the choices we make? The movie that flashes before your eyes is your own. The demons and angels along the way come to light only in the clearest hindsight. Our own regret is the hell that we make while pride in the strength and compassion can outweigh any ominous doubt. Success, through your own point of view, can lift you beyond the clouds into an eternity bright as the sun. Money doesn't measure it, but yet the connections that you leave behind. Focus on that personal goal and one can never be damned.

Sick and weak I continued on to keep up the illusion of a competent professional. My recent stay in the hospital only further justified the fact that I was living poorly. Was it the food? Was it the Job? Was it the Stress? Yes. Out in LA LA land they only see the almighty dollar. Not the mouse turning the wheel to make it happen. Time off at this point wasn't a luxury but more necessity. Caring for myself hadn't ever a priority but the lack thereof for even a short period could lead to crippling pain. I’d already been talked to about this before though. So now it was serious and had to be written up. I could understand. In a town so hell bent on suing each other a company had to cover itself. The meeting was set to sign the papers. I always love putting my name to inaccuracy; the documentation of my lack of work ethic in this group of clowns. Had me on the technicality though. I decided to take a few calls before so I could get caught up with the scene. The first client startled me by asking a very personal question pertaining to my condition. “So did you get the diagnosis…is it Crohn’s? A relative of mine had a section of his intestine…” I had to stop them and explain how my personal condition was not a topic of discussion for their taxes and end the conversation. I was flabbergasted. How could the office give up that type of pertinent personal info? Had to get to the bottom of this. The detective work started at the bottom. The receptionist would know who spoke with the client in my brief absence. She did. It led all the way to the top…the owner. That fat slob of a financial professional had been using me as an excuse for the offices shortcomings. This made my tone for today’s meeting change. I went in there steaming. “Now, I am not going to oblige your request to document any defamation of my work ethic. Also consider this my resignation.” He was surprised. I continued on how this would go down without a lawsuit if he agreed to my conditional severance package. As much as it turned my stomach to submit to the level of using the courts, I knew the threat alone would motivate properly. It did and the benefits helped fund my escape from that literal gut-wrenching environment.

Fast food is the best thing to happen to our society since the invention of fire. Not only is it more accessible than unprepared, expensive, time-consuming alternatives; it is tastier!

Fast food is more affordable than food claiming to be organic and sustainable. Keep that money in your pockets and/or going to necessary Medical Insurance expenses. It exceeds the daily minimum nutrition guidelines set by the FDA when utilized responsibly.

Feeding our overwhelmingly massive society is worth changing the environment of livestock. It is just natural evolution of cuisine. A consistent, mechanized system is efficient and reduces variables nature itself can posses By making this system fool-proof from product to consumer we can employ a range of people that don’t require education or even basic problem solving skills. This way people can pay more attention to populating the planet with more potential customers.

Now that’s sustainability!

My experience with religious beliefs I can relate to flatulence:

While you can understand and tolerate your own others can often be offended. It can make you warm and relieve pressure, when needed, but when you force others to share your experience they may turn their nose up at you. Everyone has to consider it constantly, in one form or another, and its best to let it out then keep it in. Just keep it a private and personal matter.

"Religions are like farts. Yours is good, but everyone else's stinks." ~Picket Fences

So what is the best way out of here?

Monotony creeps as the predator he is.

Let drama chase him out of the neighborhood with that wiry broom of unnecessary complexity.

This glass house built around the warmth can’t stand the waves. Walls crashing slice lacerations with the sharp wit that bleed pools of remorse scabbed over with time.

A sticky brown film that forms like condescending condensation on the glass of feces force-fed and swallowed down my accepting emotional esophagus.

Just to spew out the common thoughts meant to be regurgitated to the retarded youth.

Will the future feed on my foie gras of bittersweet aspirations?

Only to be outlawed later by some crunchy hypocrites dishing it out and refusing their due share.