I had seen you before but didn't really feel the feeling. You were cute sure, but was I in love with you? Did I love you the way I love cheese pizza or the smell of petrichor or my jeans fitting a little looser or my bra fitting a little tighter? 

Definitely not. 

Then one day you sat next to me in English class and looked me straight in the eye while saying something about....saying about...you were definitely saying something but I don't remember now. 

All I can remember are your eyes. I can't even compare them to anything, they were just baby blue and made you seem more feminine. 

That's exactly when I realized, staring into your light blue eyes, that I was most definitely a lesbian. 

Blue eyed Hungarian, you were my first love because you were the first person I felt feelings for and I only felt them when I imagined you as a girl. 

Prejudice.

Isn’t it what rules us all?

When I googled “Top ten prejudices most people have”, the results revolved around apartheid, genocide, and racial segregation sympathisers as well as people who believe women should only be hired as secretaries.

But I am not referring to that type of prejudice. Not prejudice against a specific race, ethnicity or gender. More so personal prejudices. Superstitions if you will.

So then I googled “Top ten superstitions most people have” and in just 0.60 seconds I got article after article listing “black cats”, “broken mirrors”, “open umbrellas in the indoors” and even “an itchy right palm” (apparently an indicator that you’re about to lose money) as examples of bad omens.

Then of course there are more optimistic superstitions featuring “knocking on wood”, “four leaf clovers” and an extremely anti-vegan “rabbit’s foot” which we hope will bring us good luck, health and wealth. We follow these bizarre rituals to welcome good and shoo away bad.

While waiting for my Schengen visa to be approved, I knocked my knuckles red by attacking every piece of wood that crossed my path. My friend, refused to cut his hair for the entirety of his senior year of highschool because he passionately believed that snipping off his locks would give him terrible exams results. My father doesn’t cut his nails on a Saturday, my mother never leaves the house at nineteen minutes past the hour and my philosophy teacher never eats both dark and white chocolate on the same day.

Five superstitions all passionately followed yet all five unrelated to each other.

It is important to note that I was granted a Schengen visa and my friend scored the highest in our year and to this day has not cut his hair. But most would argue that’s just confirmation bias.

My passion for studying personal prejudices started this year when I was trying to make up my mind on religion. I was brought up as a Hindu, taught not to eat beef, witnessed some religious ceremonies involving a lot of standing and high calorie sweets, and even visited the temple a couple times. We only visited the temple during difficult periods and right after good times to show gratitude for good blessings, in hopes that they continue. Pretty close to how I don’t go around knocking on wood when I am not waiting for good or avoiding bad.

Let’s move on to religious belief systems.

I have a Muslim friend who prays five times a day, fasts every ramadan and has visited Mecca twice over. I have a Jain friend who doesn’t eat non-vegetarian foods or anything that has roots. I have a Christian friend who visits church every Sunday, commits to lent and whole-heartedly believes in the ten commandments.

I also have an atheist friend who is probably the reincarnation of infamous anti-theist Christopher Hitchens. He describes life as we know it as 7 billion meatless sacks experiencing events on a floating rock in an ever expanding universe. He also refused to cut his hair until he received his exam results because he was certain it would bring him bad luck.

I am not trying to equate religious practices to superstitious ones. I am trying to make the argument that if I can admit to having a belief system where my personal prejudices and superstitions determine what will bring me good or bad luck, then I don’t really have the right to make any comment on religion or other people’s belief systems.

Essentially my argument is that just because I don’t believe in religion doesn’t mean I can criticize those that do because as an individual I doubt any of us are exempt from having personal prejudices or superstitions. Alternatively if you do believe in a religion do you really have the right to criticize say an atheist with a fear of the number 13? Wouldn’t you be criticizing someone from simply believing in a concept in the same way you believe in religion? It’s not equating religion to superstition, it’s evaluating the strength of our beliefs and to what extent we let them rule our daily lives and consequently our right to judge the beliefs of others.

I have been trying to conclude on what role religion would play in my life, whether I believed in the after-life, is God real and if so how can such an entity be omnipotent and omnipresent simultaneously and of course the question of theodicy. After not being able to answer any of these questions in my seventeen year old mind, I decided religion is probably not my thing. But then I thought to myself, how can I hold these ridiculous illogical superstitions yet still criticize religion or those who identify with it just because this specific belief doesn’t logically make sense to me individually.

As someone who believes that listening to Taylor Swift before an exam will grant me an instant C letter grade, how can I also judge someone else for praying five times a day or for not eating beef or believing in the ten commandments. Wouldn’t it just be the height of hypocrisy?

It seems silly to equate superstitions to religious practices, reason being it is not my objective. My aim is to express how belief in superstitions can be as strong and passionate as those in religious doctrines. It could be argued that humanity’s trust or belief in an idea is to some extent unparalleled. Faith is powerful, comes in different forms and so what right do we as individuals have to judge someone else’s faith?

Religion can run a country. Superstition can run an individual.

I am not trying to explore whether it’s right or wrong. I am trying to conclude that identified atheists, agnostics and anti-theists or any individual who criticizes faith should also consider how every individual can so easily fall prey to superstition and personal prejudice.

We as people motivate ourselves by believing in someone or something. We keep living and wake up each morning believing that happiness is around the corner by following a specific path or being with a specific someone or working a specific job.

Belief comes in many forms and I say whatever you believe in you go right ahead and continue as long as it doesn’t harm you or anyone else.