I've been happy
and I've felt all else other than it
and I've had focus
and I know what it's to have none anymore
and when people tell me upon seeing me
they see the slightest sliver of potential
all I want to do is tear and search my depths
to find and replace myself with
this person with the promise of a future
and I used to express and vent and rant
and I can't anymore
and I feel weighed down
by all that I want to say
but seem to not be able to say anymore
like a clueless helpless child
who needs her mama
and thoughts come and go
words appear, disappear
while motivation and I wait to greet one another
and I just wish to get to the person
you force yourself to see in me.
Hues of red
Cold and sharp against the pale white
Exposes the crimson red
The red of angst, the red of sadness, the red of pain and maybe even danger
And red should surely be reserved for the sad
Because love might falsely be advertised as red
But now in its grave it lays cold and dead
So, who the hell even knows?
Rather red remains both for the zealous and the benumbed
Because it is often the most fervent who turn most detached
The purest of us grow callous
Not only to the world around
But to our own hearts and souls
Because it’s the only way we know to cope
And that is why in that moment
For no fault of her own
She stands all alone
In that moment of piercing sadness
Hopelessness is all she bleeds.
A Mask For Protection
The party mask
has a purpose you ask?
it is to masquerade
the personality of the one who produdly dons it
it helps wearer change into someone else
to protect self
from the criticism that once was faced
when they made the stupid mistake
of naively arriving barefaced.
Every time she closed her eyes, she continually played that slide show of her failures, which kept her from truly living till the very end.
From yesterday to tomorrow
From yesterday's nobody to being everything we wished for today, you will forever be missed.
The grim man at the corner of the street
There’s a pretty grim man who lives in the corner of my street. Mommy tells me to not go near him, and I'm sure the other kid's parents also tell them the exact same thing.
He’s tall and maybe handsome under the hood and the long cloak he always wears. He lives alone, and not many people come to meet him too. The kids in the locality make fun of him for being such a stuck-up, though in reality he’s just a bit aloof and shy guy with social anxiety, He’s actually pretty smart though, I’ve heard, he is said to have thought of some of the most creative ideas to get his work done.
He is a career oriented man who has a reputation of being pretty ruthless with whoever gets in his way. He is a good man though, he is working on himself and his anxiety, and after the many extremely expensive therapy sessions with one of the most reputed therpists in the county, he has even begun trying to meet and befriend new people in order to make up for all the loneliness he’s faced right from his abusive childhood to his friendless present. All the humiliation and the hurt he has experienced always comes back to him in flashes whenever he tries to move forward, even though he really is trying. The lack of human contact has made him bad at this kind of thing, and as a result he gets too impatient and rough and violent with people he initially likes, and he always ends up losing them in the process.
Opportunity cost of being in love
Love might just be he most overrated emotion in the world!
They say that wars were fought over love, monuments were built as memoirs of one’s love for another and a lot of great sacrifices were made as an expression of one’s love.
It is the very reason why poor jealousy, contempt, anger and guilt were denied their place in the history and their role in causing the epic wars and troubles.
There’s so much rambling about how great it feels to be in love, about the perfect partners and the much loved happy endings. And maybe all that is really as great as they tell you, but has anyone thought about what we lose in order to nurture this joyous yet disappointing bond of love? Logically, is it really worth it? Ever thought about the opportunity cost of being in love?
People love stories about the sacrifices made in the hope to make a relationship work that was already doomed from the very beginning, they love the tragedies and who knows, maybe all humans are sadists, but is it really something worth appreciating?
A lifetime of opportunities, a bundle of potential, a promising individual who didn’t live upto the expectations, who could never be as great as he was destined to, just because one ill-fated day he fell into the unfortunate trap of love.
Fast forward, he runs away from his home, leaves his education withdraws his admission from the Ivy League he was studying in, just to take up a boring low paid job to support his family. And this is what we as a society are glorifying.
We encourage our youngsters to to keep their futures at stake just in order to perform such senseless grand gestures in the influence of their teenage hormones, and not even real feelings. We appreciate them going to such lengths, even if it’s for all the wrong reasons.
Loving someone must also be a logical decision, as opposed to just being a completely emotional one.
Now, of course, love in itself is not bad, on the contrary I believe it when you tell me that it’s rather quite a pleasant feeling, but to lose yourself in someone else’s love is just not what you were meant to do. You are meant to be so much more than that, you are supposed to find yourself, make a complete fool out of yourself, learn from your mistakes because that truly does make you a better person, but never lose out on your whole life just because you made the mistake of loving someone else other than you or worse loving someone else while hating your own beautiful self, because that is exactly when you turn your sublime feelings into something to condemn.
The true opportunity cost of being in such a god forbidden romance is losing your own self.
I could die, but I don’t care
If Shakespeare was right
and if life’s a stage
and we merely players
Then death might come and go
but I couldn’t care less
because then maybe
life, with all its scenes of joy and sorrow,
is the just the first act
and after the interval ends
we might just get through to reach
the much debated second act
and I'll keep hope
and I won't be scared,
because I do believe that
I might just get through
and we might just get through..
Bit by bit I’ve watched my spirit die
I often catch myself wondering if there’s even a point to life
But to know what happens when colours fade away
you have to promise to stay
and to take an oath
not to sabotage, but to work only for your growth
and it might be difficult not to sway
as you venture into areas gray
and no one said it’s easy to find someone to confide in
and it might be difficult to see the silver lining
but you’ve still got to try
and at the end of the day
just hope to find your way.
“Should we let her play”
“should we let her play” they ask
in front of her, ignoring her
she stand still, not making a noise
maybe it’s embarrassment or maybe her poise
maybe she’s speechless, maybe it’s a choice
maybe you say this isn’t bullying
She wasn’t hurt, it was just friendly leg pulling
And maybe you’re right because she didn’t bleed
she just flees
the scene and cries and cries for someone else’s misdeed
tries to rationalise it, to put her mind at ease
but it’s not that uncomplicated
to just accept that you’re hated
to just accept that our world is dark place
where you don’t feel at any place
where despite everything you’re always a disgrace
where fear makes you feel you feel you have no breathing space
where you always feel so out of place
It’s so anti-climatic
in a world full of tragedies and uncertainties
there are stories of young children ready to bully others till end of eternity
when really children should be rooting for children
people should be rooting for other people
instead of tearing others down
we all should be building up one another
and only then can our world be full of colour.