Harry Situation Reviews: The Jurassic Park Films

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This theme song is fuc-king awe-some! I just loooove it!

It’s National Fossil Day today and what better way than to celebrate than to review the film franchise that got me into paleontology, Jurassic Park. I absolutely love this series. I grew up watching them and always wanted to become a paleontologist since I was four-years-old. 

For this review, I’m going to be talking about each film in the franchise so get cozy because this is going to be a long one. Also I will might reveal some plot points so a spoiler warning is in effect.

The first film was released in 1993 and directed by the blockbuster king himself, Steven Spielberg. Based on the bestselling novel by acclaimed writer Michael Crichton, a millionaire invites two paleontologist, a mathematician, a lawyer, and his two grandchildren to have a sneak preview of his theme park. The biggest surprise to everyone is that the park is filled with dinosaurs that have been cloned from strands of their DNA. Suddenly, security systems inside the park shut down and all the dinosaurs run free.

When I first saw this movie at age four, I fell in love with this movie. If you were to ask me to write up a list of my favorite movies, Jurassic Park would definitely be at the top. Let’s talk about what audiences all agree is the best part, the dinosaurs. My god, words cannot describe how revolutionary the special effects were. As a kid, I honestly thought those were real dinosaurs, and Stan Winston and his effects team did a damn fantastic job convincing me. The effects was a great blend of lifelike animatronics for close up scenes and when the dinosaurs had to move they were life size computer generated beasts. The best part is how well even after 20 years the effects still hold up today.

The characters in the movie are also fantastic with Sam Neill as Dr. Alan Grant, Jeff Goldblum as Ian Malcolm, Laura Dern as Dr. Ellie Satler, and the late Richard Attenborough as John Hammond. How can you not like any of these characters? Well, except for the lawyer...and Nedry.

This was the film that everyone had to see, kids and adults. Although some critics have complained that there were some stuff in the film that were a little scary for younger audiences. Strange, I saw this film when I was a kid and I wasn’t scared.

Spielberg then followed up his blockbusting hit with another in 1997 titled Lost World Jurassic Park. In the sequel, Dr. Malcolm learns from an ill John Hammond that there is in fact a second island with dinosaurs on them called Isla Sorna. Having lost his company to his douchebag nephew who intends to bring the dinos off the island and onto the mainland, Hammond hires Malcolm and a team to do a formal study on the animals and have the island set up as a nature reserve. Many critics and fans had a lot of problems with this movie, but I honestly have no idea what they’re talking about. I love this film. I think it is just as good as Jurassic Park.

Like its predecessor, this film also had a big cast with Jeff Goldblum reprising as Malcolm, Attenborough as Hammond, Julianne Moore as Malcolm’s girlfriend Sara Harding, Vince Vaughn as the animal activist Nick Van Owen, and Pete Postlethwaite as the big game hunter Roland. I liked these characters back when I was a kid, and I still like these characters today. They are just as good and iconic as the characters in the first film.

The special effects and dinosaur animatronics still look as fantastic and convincing like the first film. I really loved the family of Tyrannosaurs in this film. Honestly, they were my favorite characters as a kid, and they still looked as ferocious and awesome rewatching it as an adult now.

But of course like any movie they had to expand it into a trilogy with the release of Jurassic Park 3 in 2001. Jurassic Park 3 takes place back on Isla Sorna only this time Dr. Grant returns to serve as a paleontological guide for a rich couple (played by William H. Macy and Tea Leoni). After a severe crash landing and an encounter of a new apex predator, Grant learns that he was duped into coming along because the couple’s son was stranded on the island and hoped that he could help find him. 

Man, what can I really say about Jurassic Park 3? Don’t get me wrong, I still like this movie but if I had to pick my least favorite of the series it would definitely be this one. This movie is an hour shorter than the other films but it felt like it went on a little too long. The special effects took a downgrade with the animatronics looking more like animatronics you’d find at a theme park ride. They just didn’t mesh well with the surrounding environment.

What really drew me out of the film was Tea Leoni’s performance. Every time she was on this island she would complain about something, or scream at the top of her lungs. Lady, you’re on an island with dinosaurs! Keep your volume down! “ERIC! BEN! OHMYGOD! SCARY SHIT!” Christ, SHUT UP!!!

Let’s also talk about what many fans consider the biggest controversy in the movie. Dr. Grant and the rest of the survivors out run the newest dinosaur, Spinosaurus, and then runs into the franchise’s lead, Tyrannosaurus Rex. For the first time, we actually get to see two dinosaurs fight each other and it looked like it was going to be epic. Sadly, it fight itself was anticlimatic and ends with the T-Rex getting its neck snapped by the Spinosaurus. 

What’s the problem with this? You’re going to see another T-Rex, right? No, that’s the only time you ever see a T-Rex in the whole movie. The producers literally brought it into the movie just to kill it off. I can see why this would piss people off, but it’s not the reason why it pissed me off.

Observing this scenario from a scientific stand point, T-Rex would have been the real winner if it ever engaged in a conflict with Spinosaurus. It has been proven that T-Rex had the most powerful bite force of any land animal, a maximum force of 12,000 pounds. The moment when T-Rex had its jaws around the Spinosaurus’ neck, all it had to do was bite down and it would have been game over. While Spinosaurus is the largest documented land carnivore that walked the planet, reaching up to 50-60 feet in length, it would have been no matched to the North American predatory king.

After Jurassic Park 3, the franchise seemed to die down afterward. Talks of a sequel have been in development hell for a while and all hope seemed futile. Yet they managed to release one last year with Jurassic World. When I first heard about this movie, I immediately though this movie was going to suck. When I finally got an opportunity to see I was surprised how much I actually enjoyed it. Cant’ say that my father or sister shared the same feelings.

So Jurassic World takes place 20 years after the first film where John Hammond’s dream is fully operational. Chris Pratt is a Raptor handler and Bryce Dallas Howard runs the facility. As we all know from the previews and constant advertising, they create a hybrid dinosaur called Indominus Rex (which I refer to it as Sharktopusaurus) that gets loose and creates all kinds of havoc. Now it is up to Chris Pratt to find a way to stop this highly intelligent freak of nature.

Chris Pratt was awesome in this movie. I get the feeling that we’re going to see more of him in the future. The action sequences were great. Seriously, that scene where Chris Pratt rides on a motorcycle side by side with his Velociraptor pack is all kinds of badass. This movie left me on the end of my seat with all the chaos happening. The highlight of the movie was the last third of the film where Sharktopusaurus battles a Tyrannosaurus and a Velociraptor. If that last act didn’t go accordingly then is movie would have sucked.

The downside is that the film’s script was clunky. Some of the dialogue was cheesy and the humor at times came off as awkward and forced. Way too many supporting characters got way too much screen time and I really wished they were cut out of the film or eaten.

Now let’s talk dinosaurs in the fourth installment. The dinosaurs were good. I liked how Chris Pratt was able to interact with the Velociraptors. I was pleased to see a Mosasaur, a marine reptile, finally getting its film debut in a Jurassic Park film and it look great. However, they was way too much CGI that I really missed how the older films blended the dinosaurs with animatronics and computer images. And what of Sharktopusaurus? It did its job. It was meant to be a big monster causing havoc and that’s all it really needed to be.

Overall, was this movie dumb? Yeah. But was it fun? Hell yeah. This was a really fun dumb movie to watch and it delivers what audiences are expecting of this film; dinosaurs running rampage (technically one dino was running rampage). It’s no wonder why this movie made over a billion dollars worldwide.

While the Jurassic Park franchise doesn’t do any justice for providing anything scientifically accurate, but it’s a science fiction film. Why should it have any sort of scientific accuracy? Seriously, I read complaints about this shit on the paleontology Facebook page. The movies are science fiction! It doesn’t matter if the science makes sense or not, the films are meant to entertain and be fun, and that’s exactly what all the films do successfully. This is why I always loved Jurassic Park. I wouldn’t have started my journey to become a geologist/paleontologist if it wasn’t for this awesome series.

Final Grades:

Jurassic Park: A+

Lost World Jurassic Park: A-

Jurassic Park 3: C

Jurassic World: B-

So that was my extensive review for all the Jurassic Park films. What you seen these movies? What did you think about them? Which film was your favorite? And since today is National Fossil Day what is your favorite dinosaur? Please be kind, leave a like and comment, and, as always, be sure to check back on Prose.com to more reviews!

Best Quote:

Ian Malcolm: “Life finds a way.”