Twisted Fairy Tales: Jane

 Once again, I swear I'm not a psychopath.

      Once upon a time, there was a beautiful little princess named Jane.  She had spiraled locks of golden hair and eyes as blue as the bluest topaz.  She lived in a giant red castle in a beautiful suburb called Whispering Pines, and her mommy and daddy were very, very handsome and wealthy.  

        Every day, Janeʼs nanny packed her a lunch for school with avocado and tuna sushi, carrot sticks, and a feta and spinach salad, just as her mother requested, and sent little Jane on her way with a kiss on the nose.  Janeʼs mother was very busy with yoga in the mornings, and Janeʼs father was away for business, so little Jane walked to school along the trail in the woods behind her neighborhood all alone. This trail was full of giant pine trees and sweet singing birds, and all of the townspeople traveled along the windy path jogging and walking their dogs.

        One day in particular was very special, and Jane was excited!  After school let out, she and her mother were going into the city for Janeʼs beauty pageant.  Jane had porcelain skin like a doll and her mommy loved to dress her up in big ruffled dresses.  Janeʼs mommy would draw on her eyes with pencils, dust her cheeks with sparkling powder, and spritz her with Chanel No.5 so that everyone would know how pretty she was.  

        After the pageants, Jane and her mommy spent hours and hours signing pictures of her to give to her fans and friends, blowing kisses and dancing to make them coo in delight.  Janeʼs mommy would upload videos and pictures of Jane modeling her pretty dresses and swimsuits on YouTube and Facebook, and all of her followers would like and comment on them. They would all tell her how much they loved her and how proud they were of her for being such a beautiful girl, and even though Jane was only small and eight years old, she knew she was wonderful, and her beauty would take her anywhere she wanted to go when she grew up.

On this day, pretty little Jane gathered her school books, kissed her nanny goodbye, and skipped out the door, feeling especially vibrant and happy. Her forest green and lacy white school uniform was extra pressed, and her bouncy golden hair was even springier than normal. She had a big sparkly bow to match her shiny black shoes, and a pretty backpack with flowers and J-A-N-E embroidered delicately into it.

She hopped through the forest like a happy little blue jay, singing to herself the song her mother always sang at bedtime…

“Today is your day, you're sure to win!

You're the prettiest of them all.

Your tummy in tight.

Your smile so bright.

And your waist is teensy and small!"

Just then, Jane heard a big thump!

She stopped and listened for a moment, then saw a little brown bunny with a fluffy white tail scamper across the concrete trail.

Oh, it's'just a silly bunny, she thought to herself, and kept along her way, singing and hopping and hopping and singing.

"You've got hair of gold.

Perfect soft skin.

And big pearly whites all in a row!"

Once again, Jane heard a big thump coming from the forest. She was sure there was another bunny, so she tiptoed towards the trees, quiet as a mouse.

Just as Jane reached the edge of the pathway, she saw a very tall man with large black glasses and a brown jacket standing just behind the tree line.

At first, he startled Jane and she began to run away. But the man said her name.

"Jane! Hi, Jane!"

Jane stopped running and turned around, still a little shy. She was very curious how he knew her name. Maybe he was one of her fans!

"Hi mister," said Jane, walking back over to where the man stood, "are you one of my fans?"

The man smiled very big, showing the nice dimples in his cheeks. "I am!" Jane thought he seemed very excited that she recognized him. "Iʼm your biggest fan!"

"Oh! Thatʼs nice. I almost thought you were a stranger," replied Jane, feeling much more at ease now that she knew she didnʼt have to be afraid. "Are you here to wish me luck for my big pageant tonight? My mommy picked my dress. Itʼs very beautiful, but Iʼm not sure I like it. I think Iʼd like one with many more ruffles."

"No, Iʼm not a stranger at all, Jane. As a matter of fact, your mom asked me to pick you up today to help you get ready for your big night. If youʼd like, we can skip school today and go to my house. I have many very beautiful dresses for you to try, all with more ruffles than you've ever seen in your life. If one fits, you can have it." The man smiled kindly at Jane as he offered his help, and Jane knew he must be very nice.

"Okay, sir. Should I tell my nanny where I'll be so she can write a school note?" Jane was a little worried about school. Her mommy never let her miss school for a pageant unless they were going to one in another city. She wasnʼt usually allowed to use sick days so that she could save up time for regional competitions.

"Oh, no. Your nanny already called. We can just go straight to my house!" The man was very happy to go, so Jane clapped her hands and squealed! She loved new dresses, and she knew she would look very beautiful with so many ruffles.

The man took Janeʼs hand and led her through the trees to his shiny red car. He asked her to sit in the back seat and buckled her in. Once he started the car, he gave Jane a lollipop! Janeʼs mother never let her have candy because it had too much sugar, and sugar will make you fat. Jane was very happy, but she knew she must keep this secret.

"Thank you, mister…," Jane suddenly realized she hadn't'even asked his name and felt very rude. "I'm'sorry sir, I haven't'even asked your name. I feel very rude."

"That's'okay, Jane," he was very sweet even though she had been so careless, "my name is Mr. Wolf. Do you like your sucker?"

Jane felt relieved he wasn't'angry and giddily answered, "Oh yes! I can't'tell my mommy, though. Maybe I shouldn't'have this, after all."

"I've already asked your mother, dear," he eagerly reassured her, grinning at her in the rear view mirror, "she said you deserve a lollipop for being such a stunningly beautiful little girl."

Jane smiled back at him and unwrapped her candy. It was cherry! Cherry was her very favorite. She was so happy!

During the ride to his house, Mr. Wolf asked Jane lots of questions. He asked her what her favorite color was and what her favorite food to eat was, and he even asked her if sheʼd ever kissed a boy before.

Jane thought he was very silly, so she made a yucky face and said, "Eww, no sir! Boys are gross." Mr. Wolf laughed heartily at Janeʼs squinty face and told her that one day she would love to kiss boys, so Jane made a gagging sound and giggled very hard. She knew he was only joking! How very funny he was!

When she arrived at Mr. Wolfʼs house, he showed her inside. It was a small castle, but he had lots of toys and makeup and at least twenty ruffled dresses! Jane thought his house was even better than hers, and she was so happy her mommy sent him to fetch her.

Jane played for hours with all the wonderful dress-ups. She drew on her own eyelids with pencils and even dusted her own cheeks with sparkly powder, just like her mommy showed her how to do. She made herself so beautiful, and Mr. Wolf told her again and again that she was the prettiest little princess heʼd ever seen.

Mr. Wolf was very pleased and asked Jane to model the ruffled dresses for him. She knew just how to walk and pose, so she did, and he took lots of pictures that the camera could print all by itself like magic! He showed her all of the pictures heʼd taken of other little models like Jane, and he told her she was the prettiest of them all.

Many hours went by while they were having so much fun, and suddenly Jane realized it must be time for her pageant! Her mommy would be very angry if she missed it!

"Mr. Wolf," Jane asked, "is it time to go to my show yet? My mother must be waiting, and she will be angry if Iʼm late."

"Oh, Jane," Mr. Wolf seemed very sad, and stared into Janeʼs eyes, "your mother has been in a terrible accident and died. You are going to stay with me now."

Jane cried for a very long time. She was the saddest sheʼd ever been in her whole life, but Mr. Wolf hugged her sweetly and kissed her forehead to make her feel better.

"Itʼs okay, Jane," he told her, "you can play dress up any time youʼd like here. You donʼt even have to go to school. You can just be pretty, and we'll play and take pictures and make movies. You will be a movie star, Jane!”

So Jane did. She played all day long, making movies and taking pictures, and he and Jane even had two little twin princesses of their own when Jane was fourteen. Jane dressed them in beautiful ruffled dresses and drew on their big topaz blue eyes and dusted their faces with sparkly powder, and they all lived happily ever after as the prettiest little girls in Mr. Wolfʼs castle.

Teach a child that her worth resides only upon the surface of her skin, and you will inevitably rob her of the freedom to understand what lies beneath.