“Friends”

Have you ever felt betrayed by a friend?

Have you ever felt betrayed by a friend while they are completely oblivious? 

Have you ever been made to feel uncomfortable by a stranger making a sexual comment?

Have you ever been made to feel uncomfortable by a friend making a sexual comment?

I have. 

I can say anything to a stranger on the street. 

I don't care about their opinion and I know that I am safe in the daylight. 

But to a friend?

No. 

That is different.

That is much.. much harder. 

At first you think they are joking. 

That they will acknowledge their mistake. 

Then they do it again.

And again. 

And yet-

They never say sorry. 

They never realize what they are doing is wrong. 

It's even worse when you realize you are not alone in their assault. 

It's even worse when you realize that they do it to other people too. 

Still not realizing that it is wrong. 

So you decide to say something. 

And then it gets worse. 

They say they were kidding. 

They deny your feelings. 

They deny the sick feeling you get in your mouth. 

And then you're left wondering.

Are they really your friend? 

Are they really as safe as you once thought?

And then you don't feel comfortable going to parties with them.

And then you don't feel safe falling asleep near them.

And then you don't want to be alone with them. 

And then you get called out. 

And then you make up a story. 

And then you want to run.

And then they talk. 

And they don't understand. 

And you are damaged. 

Unworthy. 

But it's okay right? 

These are your friends.