I Care Too Much

Why do I try to make peace? You certainly don't. I gave up everything to come here and help you. Everything. And what do I get in return? Hatred. Betrayal. Envy. Suspicion. All I did was try to help. Why don't you see that? Why are you so convinced that I have evil intent behind every word? 

You don't even know what I've done. You don't know how I feel. Every time I go to see you I get sick. That's how much stress you cause. My body is full of pain. So much pain. I'd go to a doctor if I didn't know the cause. But I do. It's you. But I go anyway. You know why? Because I still have hope. Stupid me always has hope. And if there is ever even the tiniest sliver of hope, I will try to make things better. I keep giving. I keep caring. Why? Why do I give you anything? You don't deserve it.

But maybe you do. Or maybe no one does. Maybe deep down you've been hurt too. Maybe that's why you act like this. But I'd never know because you won't even talk to me. You have your minions do the talking for you. I have to go through them. They give me a little more hope. And then you dash it. It's gone. I can't keep doing this. I can't keep causing myself so much pain for you when you're just going to keep doing the same things and make my life more and more miserable. No. I have to stop.

I can't stop. I have to try. I may die trying.