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Written by Suzisnowflake in portal Stream of Consciousness

Body stiffens into

silent scream.

Smoke screen of

bright color

masks mud

charcoal

mildew smell.

An acrid fire of

burnt shit

buzzing

pain.

Visions of bridges.

I swing.

Slide into aching

desire to destroy.

Smash.

Pens cracked.

Inky fingers

controlled by

cauliflower

rotten

and stinking

in the back of

the fridge.

Hallucinating names

of past lovers

I've allowed to

convince me

to abscond

to drag me

to grate me

into their hellish

mouths.

I want greasy

Hulk

strength

to explode my skull

like a pop bottle

beneath a car tire.

A praying mantis

snapped in half

with her eyes bulging.

Dissolve and bury

me in earth.

Speak of how

I binge ate

while children

swallowed mud

to soothe their

distended tummies.

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Written by Suzisnowflake in portal Stream of Consciousness
Body stiffens into
silent scream.
Smoke screen of
bright color
masks mud
charcoal
mildew smell.
An acrid fire of
burnt shit
buzzing
pain.
Visions of bridges.
I swing.
Slide into aching
desire to destroy.
Smash.
Pens cracked.
Inky fingers
controlled by
cauliflower
rotten
and stinking
in the back of
the fridge.
Hallucinating names
of past lovers
I've allowed to
convince me
to abscond
to drag me
to grate me
into their hellish
mouths.
I want greasy
Hulk
strength
to explode my skull
like a pop bottle
beneath a car tire.
A praying mantis
snapped in half
with her eyes bulging.
Dissolve and bury
me in earth.
Speak of how
I binge ate
while children
swallowed mud
to soothe their
distended tummies.
#poetry 
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Written by Firdaus in portal Stream of Consciousness

Dreams

what do we dream about

things that we want

or things that we've lost

Yet I never dream about you

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Written by Firdaus in portal Stream of Consciousness
Dreams
what do we dream about
things that we want
or things that we've lost

Yet I never dream about you
#musingsofaninsomniac 
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Written by ZdpZoe in portal Stream of Consciousness

Gruesome Thoughts

I like to imagine how it would feel--

The pain of the sharp edge

Digging into my flesh,

Opening me up to the world.

The feeling as the blade slid down

Away from my palm,

And towards my bent elbow.

How the thick red would tingle

As it slid down on either side--

Slow at first then like a river.

I imagine all of this

And then I imagine how I may look--

Pale, white edging on blue,

With red swallowing me on either side.

My eyes, which have been dull for so long,

Even more so as the life slipped from me

And onto the cold floor.

I picture gruesome things--

On occasion they are constant thoughts

And other times they simply enter for a moment.

Good or bad, 

These thoughts come and go,

In and out like the tides--

Sometimes I wish for them to stay;

And others I fight them off.

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Written by ZdpZoe in portal Stream of Consciousness
Gruesome Thoughts
I like to imagine how it would feel--
The pain of the sharp edge
Digging into my flesh,
Opening me up to the world.
The feeling as the blade slid down
Away from my palm,
And towards my bent elbow.
How the thick red would tingle
As it slid down on either side--
Slow at first then like a river.
I imagine all of this
And then I imagine how I may look--
Pale, white edging on blue,
With red swallowing me on either side.
My eyes, which have been dull for so long,
Even more so as the life slipped from me
And onto the cold floor.
I picture gruesome things--
On occasion they are constant thoughts
And other times they simply enter for a moment.
Good or bad, 
These thoughts come and go,
In and out like the tides--
Sometimes I wish for them to stay;
And others I fight them off.
#poetry 
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Written by Mel in portal Stream of Consciousness

Balderdash

The smell of

cigars

booze

and fear-filled

sweaty men

was heavy

in the back room

of a restaurant

Working the quarter

Stacks on the table

Dealt into the game

We poured our guts

into our drinks

Topped them off with

lies and vulnerability

then swapped glasses

with one another

Pain written across every face

Guilt unleashed our demons

to mock and instill fear

Not even the whiskey

on our breath

would let us forget

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Written by Mel in portal Stream of Consciousness
Balderdash
The smell of
cigars
booze
and fear-filled
sweaty men
was heavy
in the back room
of a restaurant
Working the quarter
Stacks on the table
Dealt into the game
We poured our guts
into our drinks
Topped them off with
lies and vulnerability
then swapped glasses
with one another
Pain written across every face
Guilt unleashed our demons
to mock and instill fear
Not even the whiskey
on our breath
would let us forget
#DP 
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Written by e0k0l in portal Stream of Consciousness

3:3,4

I've torn the edges of my mouth apart, shoving my hand inside.

Painfully reintroducing my regrets in an attempt to get rid of them.

I have Creative Bulimia, but I'll continue to eat. 

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Written by e0k0l in portal Stream of Consciousness
3:3,4
I've torn the edges of my mouth apart, shoving my hand inside.
Painfully reintroducing my regrets in an attempt to get rid of them.
I have Creative Bulimia, but I'll continue to eat. 
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Written by poeticasymptote in portal Stream of Consciousness

Hold Fast

there are trees

and there are evergreens

there are storms

and harsh winds

there are monsoons

and long droughts

there are blizzards

there are seasons

barks scrape

branches break

trunk bends

leaves dry

flower withers

fruits fall

but thankfully,

roots hold

for in all the places to look,

the tree's strength

is found in roots

under the ground

where it all started

the seed fought alone

in a little time, grown

winter blows

would bother less

once it's weathered

once it's proved

to be nature's test

past the stage where

winds of doubt

would kill the warmth

that nourishes

that keeps alive

that hibernates

trees will stand

because they know

there's something else

that nature's harshness

can never break

that nature's kindess

can ever mend

the steadfast warmth

that nourishes

that keeps alive

that hibernates

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Written by poeticasymptote in portal Stream of Consciousness
Hold Fast
there are trees
and there are evergreens
there are storms
and harsh winds
there are monsoons
and long droughts
there are blizzards
there are seasons

barks scrape
branches break
trunk bends
leaves dry
flower withers
fruits fall
but thankfully,
roots hold
for in all the places to look,
the tree's strength
is found in roots
under the ground
where it all started
the seed fought alone
in a little time, grown

winter blows
would bother less
once it's weathered
once it's proved
to be nature's test
past the stage where
winds of doubt
would kill the warmth
that nourishes
that keeps alive
that hibernates

trees will stand
because they know
there's something else
that nature's harshness
can never break
that nature's kindess
can ever mend

the steadfast warmth
that nourishes
that keeps alive
that hibernates
#poetry  #philosophy  #spirituality  #nature  #hope 
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Written by Winterreign in portal Stream of Consciousness

Unavoidable

You can't stop bad things from roaming through your head ,even though you have some good thoughts. The bad ones still lingers on.like flies that won't leave you alone, it's simply unavoidable.

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Written by Winterreign in portal Stream of Consciousness
Unavoidable
You can't stop bad things from roaming through your head ,even though you have some good thoughts. The bad ones still lingers on.like flies that won't leave you alone, it's simply unavoidable.
#poetry 
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Written by Winterreign in portal Stream of Consciousness

Wrapped in a knot

••

I've got strings, chains

ropes and ribbons

Tied in a knot around

My mind and wrapped

All around my body,

•••

It's got a strong, vice

Like grip on me

It keeps getting

Tighter and tighter and tighter,

••

Every second of the day

Every single day

Every week and

Every month,

***********

I can't move or

Free myself

From this burden

From this mess,

••

It's burning my mind

And burning my body

It stings so much,

••••••••

It's tearing and weighing

Me down,

••••••

It's squeezing

And holding me tight,

---------------------------

It inflicts pain

Inside my mind

And on my body,

••••

It won't break itself

From me,

It won't let me leave

Or run,

•••

It became a part of me,

A part of me that

I can't escape ,

•••

It's suffocating me

Like it doesn't want me

To breathe,

••

It doesn't want to make a sound

Or ask for help,

But , maybe..

Just maybe..

I don't want any help..

~~~~~~~~~~~

It won't untangle itself from me

It won't let me go..

It's keeping me as a prisoner..

Of my own creation..

I can't untangle myself

Nobody can save me

From these threads,

Nobody can save me

From these nightmares,

••

I can't claw my way

Out of these chains

Out of this dark hole,

+++++++++++++

It's leaving permanent

Marks on my skin,

It's burning holes

In my skin and my head..

••

It came in like

a wrecking ball

It swung and swung

and swung

Using it force on me,

•••••••••

Leaving me crashing

In this hell,

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

It started a war

And it succeed

It won and defeated me,

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~•

It's a war zone

I'm fighting with myself

It's a war zone

I'm fighting with everyone,

•••

It's a war zone

I'm fighting every day,

It's a war zone

I'm fighting with the world,

::::::::::::::::

It's mocking and

Laughing at me,

It enjoys

Wrecking me

Into tiny , little particles,

••

It enjoys

Inflicting me

With pain,

It enjoys watching

Me suffering..

;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

I found myself

Slowly and gradually

Slipping away,

•••

Falling into the deepest

Hole of darkness

Into the deepest

Part of pain and torture,

••

Pain is the only

Thing that i feel now...

I don't feel love..

I only feel pain..

••••

But maybe..

I enjoy the pain..

Because..

Pain..

Can

Turn..

Into..

Pleasure..

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Written by Winterreign in portal Stream of Consciousness
Wrapped in a knot
••
I've got strings, chains
ropes and ribbons
Tied in a knot around
My mind and wrapped
All around my body,
•••
It's got a strong, vice
Like grip on me
It keeps getting
Tighter and tighter and tighter,
••
Every second of the day
Every single day
Every week and
Every month,

***********
I can't move or
Free myself
From this burden
From this mess,
••
It's burning my mind
And burning my body
It stings so much,
••••••••
It's tearing and weighing
Me down,
••••••
It's squeezing
And holding me tight,
---------------------------
It inflicts pain
Inside my mind
And on my body,
••••
It won't break itself
From me,
It won't let me leave
Or run,
•••
It became a part of me,

A part of me that
I can't escape ,
•••
It's suffocating me
Like it doesn't want me
To breathe,
••
It doesn't want to make a sound
Or ask for help,

But , maybe..
Just maybe..
I don't want any help..
~~~~~~~~~~~
It won't untangle itself from me
It won't let me go..
It's keeping me as a prisoner..
Of my own creation..

I can't untangle myself
Nobody can save me
From these threads,
Nobody can save me
From these nightmares,
••
I can't claw my way
Out of these chains
Out of this dark hole,
+++++++++++++
It's leaving permanent
Marks on my skin,
It's burning holes
In my skin and my head..
••
It came in like
a wrecking ball
It swung and swung
and swung
Using it force on me,
•••••••••
Leaving me crashing
In this hell,
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
It started a war
And it succeed
It won and defeated me,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~•
It's a war zone
I'm fighting with myself
It's a war zone
I'm fighting with everyone,
•••
It's a war zone
I'm fighting every day,
It's a war zone
I'm fighting with the world,
::::::::::::::::
It's mocking and
Laughing at me,

It enjoys
Wrecking me
Into tiny , little particles,
••
It enjoys
Inflicting me
With pain,

It enjoys watching
Me suffering..
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
I found myself
Slowly and gradually
Slipping away,
•••
Falling into the deepest
Hole of darkness
Into the deepest
Part of pain and torture,
••
Pain is the only
Thing that i feel now...
I don't feel love..
I only feel pain..
••••
But maybe..

I enjoy the pain..

Because..

Pain..
Can
Turn..

Into..

Pleasure..
#thoughts  #feelings  #anxiety  #depression  #emotions 
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Written by HexGirl in portal Stream of Consciousness

"Goodbye"

I was naked and alone

Pills in my hand and tears in my eyes

A cold numbness invaded my flesh

"I would rather die than deal with this shit anymore"

Cramming as many as I could in my mouth

A few managed to spill on to the floor, rolling into darkness

I lay down on the bed, waiting

A burning sensation spread throughout my body

It started at my heart and then made it's way to my shoulders

Tears began to drip onto the pillow

Then, a great peace came over me

Time no longer existed

All was still

"Goodbye"

But I never fell asleep

I got dressed and went outside

I could feel the warm grass beneath my feet

And for the first time, I felt the warmth of the sun

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Written by HexGirl in portal Stream of Consciousness
"Goodbye"
I was naked and alone
Pills in my hand and tears in my eyes
A cold numbness invaded my flesh
"I would rather die than deal with this shit anymore"
Cramming as many as I could in my mouth
A few managed to spill on to the floor, rolling into darkness
I lay down on the bed, waiting
A burning sensation spread throughout my body
It started at my heart and then made it's way to my shoulders
Tears began to drip onto the pillow
Then, a great peace came over me
Time no longer existed
All was still
"Goodbye"
But I never fell asleep
I got dressed and went outside
I could feel the warm grass beneath my feet
And for the first time, I felt the warmth of the sun
#nonfiction  #spirituality 
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Written by lowercasemmmmmm in portal Stream of Consciousness

assuage me to death

a deckchair hung 

a skull cracked dark

the deep smell of paraffin 

breaks the lungs down

no explanation

but you left this gold

and a litter of surprises

to deny and unfold

every point a stab

this little games raw

its ugly and crass

and i need more

its repetition of beauty

and dangers fare

fills the flagon over

and singes heads bare

castigated elation

pupils dilate and abbreviate 

deducted from the rocks

its only cold words

you - the sleeper

and your closed memory

wrote your own stars out

of the manuscript of slavery

beautifully weird 

mocking hard the bright

kissing down the rebellion

while the upset takes flight

insert smile here

as the silence burns

smoking like a dream

a paper house of hurt

a wristwatch of sadness

a dark machine

hard into the iris

a magical choice of serene

a declared heart

seeks lone advantage

seeks a salvation

from the point of vantage

with absent wheels

leaning away

patiently cradling 

slight and soulful day

death transports me

to a walk so gently

a huge proposal

that sleep can't forge

without a mirrored mirage

her form sits plastic

waxed thick and dull

her confidence shadowed

death don't be kind to me

please don't spare my pain

let me live its brunt and curse

as i walk through evils awning

cold and sable mourning

fills closed eyes dried out

i will forever hear its calling

its electrical static shout

don't :

syncopate me

insulate me

emancipate me

annihilate me

reverberate me

initiate me 

emaciate me

inviolate me

invalidate me

confiscate me

masticate me

to a lonely lumpy zombie

 

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Written by lowercasemmmmmm in portal Stream of Consciousness
assuage me to death
a deckchair hung 
a skull cracked dark
the deep smell of paraffin 
breaks the lungs down
no explanation
but you left this gold
and a litter of surprises
to deny and unfold

every point a stab
this little games raw
its ugly and crass
and i need more
its repetition of beauty
and dangers fare
fills the flagon over
and singes heads bare

castigated elation
pupils dilate and abbreviate 
deducted from the rocks
its only cold words

you - the sleeper
and your closed memory
wrote your own stars out
of the manuscript of slavery
beautifully weird 
mocking hard the bright
kissing down the rebellion
while the upset takes flight

insert smile here
as the silence burns
smoking like a dream
a paper house of hurt
a wristwatch of sadness
a dark machine
hard into the iris
a magical choice of serene

a declared heart
seeks lone advantage
seeks a salvation
from the point of vantage
with absent wheels
leaning away
patiently cradling 
slight and soulful day

death transports me
to a walk so gently
a huge proposal
that sleep can't forge
without a mirrored mirage
her form sits plastic
waxed thick and dull
her confidence shadowed

death don't be kind to me
please don't spare my pain
let me live its brunt and curse
as i walk through evils awning
cold and sable mourning
fills closed eyes dried out
i will forever hear its calling
its electrical static shout

don't :

syncopate me
insulate me
emancipate me
annihilate me
reverberate me
initiate me 
emaciate me
inviolate me
invalidate me
confiscate me
masticate me
to a lonely lumpy zombie






 
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