Have you ever woke up one morning

and just felt like this is not the real life

you were supposed to have?

I mean everything you went through up to this point has been to get other people to where they should be, but your life and your spiritual happiness doesn’t match up.

I have vivid dreams of people and places who, in my dreams I know who they are and what my role in life there is and I feel like have a purpose there.

Then I wake up to this reality.

Here I have no purpose, I have no job, I see no one, I go nowhere, and I contribute nothing. I am useless and I hate it.

When I dream, I am still a mother, still a daughter, a granddaughter. I live in nice houses, money isn’t a problem and

speaking with people is easier.

When I wake up in the mornings, I don’t look forward to the day anymore.

Everyday for me is the same.

(For those reading this who are thinking damn girl! Get a job!) I’m

handicapped, can’t drive, can’t work and my mobility is limited.

This life is so useless to me I am so tired of it, I just dont want to wake up anymore….

Useless..

No people are not born evil.

Very young children will play together

just fine. It’s only after adults have taught them to be racist, or classist, do they even consider those things.

Children learn best by example and who are the best examples out there? The mums and dads who are in the public rat race, who shove their 2.5 kids off on some one else to raise so they can make money for some one else to raise their children so they can ask “Where did he learn that? Those aren’t our values!”

I bet you Israeli and Palestinian children would get along just fine if they didn’t have parents telling them to hate each other!

When children from the minute they are born hear nothing but ugly hateful things about their neighbors how can we as the world community expect them to grow up believing?

On top of that the Evil/Hate is perpetuated even further by training them to use guns while they are still children and who or what to shoot at!

Now this visual thought isn’t just for the Middle East, this can be used for any one!

As you grow and mature the way you understand the world and the people closest to you changes in ways you never thought possible.

Its the ones I grew up with that helped raise me that I hear them speak I can’t believe what I just heard.

Those are the ones I don’t miss, I just miss who I thought they were.

Ahh, to enjoy the thrill of passion

once again! I know I had had it once,

I just can’t remember what it felt like.

To kiss a lover in a hot blooded fever,

enjoying his tight embrace not slowing down to take a breather.

Tongues entwined in a clutching grip,

Breathing harder and faster, as we don’t want to get off this “Tripp”.

Yeah, once upon a time I remember days like that. Now I’m just old, saggy, grey and fat!

I miss kissing people, men with physique’s and sweet babies cheeks!

Its that closeness the sweetness I miss.

It was always there in the

kiss.

Humanity, you silly wretches!

As I watch you all like ants or a herd of sheep, the one thing you seem to have in common is you need to be ruled or bound and gagged in order to function. There is always some terrorist holding a gun to someones head, and someone else having to pay to release them.

Why is this ok?

Why do you allow Religious leaders to play a role in the political fields of governments? They have no place there! Remember religion is a primitive construct of the human mind in order to understand and put into perspective the possibility of how humanity got here.

When are you going to let go of all this petty materialistic life, realize things are things, and start living and caring about real living beings?

First let me preface this by saying I am not a Catholic. However, I was raised in a very strong conservative Christian community so I understand a lot.

The movie is

“The Trouble with Angels”.

Staring Rossilind Russel, Haylee Mills

it’s about teen girls finding their way under the watchful eye of Mother Superior.

It’s set in 1966, a time when life was still a little innocent. I was born in ’67

and I first saw this movie in a Saturday matinee.

The first time I saw it, I cried because of this part when the girls are singing and serving treats at a retirement home, and the scene shows different girls list to different ladies talking about their children and families.

However the last scene in the clip, Mother Superior is seen comforting an elderly lady who is crying because she doesn’t understand why her children won’t come see her, because when her children were little she did everything for them.

To this day I still cry because now I understand that statement even more.

When I was 15 I was raped. As a result, I found out I was pregnant.

I lived in a small close knit community, and went to a private Christian school. Oh the scandal and shame this brought on not only me but my family!

Do you think that at 15 years old I blamed the baby for all my grief? No!

I was forced to marry the guy because it was the right thing to do in the eyes of the church. I wasn’t in love, but I was doing what I was told to do.

I had planned to graduate and go to college and become a Veterinarian and specialize in Equine medicine. My whole life I loved being with and around horses and animals and that’s all I wanted.

Now I gave it all up because there was some one coming, a gift from God that I didn’t plan on but sometimes life just works out that way.

July 1984 my tiny little boy was born and I was 16 years old. He was beautiful! Yes I kept him and raised him but I had lots of help.

Abortion never crossed my mind! Why would I murder an innocent person ? How selfish I would be if I decided something like that!

I had 3 more little boys, just before my 22nd birthday my youngest was born.

I gave up my dreams so that my children could have a chance to achieve their goals.I married a man who my family loved, my church loved, my friends loved, and I liked but I wasn’t in love with.

I gave up everything I ever wanted

because I loved others more.

To whom it may concern:

Thank you all for reading!

Maybe if you pay attention

you won’t leave the show bleeding!

I fear we cannot guarantee your safety

She‘s a redhead, she thinks your

soul is quite tasty!

So beware the stare from

this beautiful stranger.