Little girl, now woman grown, whither do you wander?

To seize the world with acumen and strength you forged in Father's arms?

Little voice, now conscience bright, you ask me where I go?

To Father's grave with joyful spirit free from torment, blame, and slight.

Little girl, now woman grown, did you not love thy Father?

The one who sowed the seeds of strength and acumen your soul imparts?

Little voice, now conscience dark, you ask me if I loved him?

One tear I'll shed, but not for him. Please listen while I make this clear. My tear is for the daddy that I should have had, but never will. For in his death he's lost to me. My pain is done, but hope is, too.

My skin caught on fire at the way you said my name. 

Just kidding. Is that what you wanted me to say? We're too different, you and I. You have the spark of life in those eyes, with an eagerness to please in the upturn of your lips. Like me, your smile says. I almost wish I could obey. Yet, herein lies the issue: where your fire burns bright and full, my ice spreads cold and thin. 

Oh, it's not your fault. Your fire is beautiful, and it will grow and burn without me. 

I am not broken, nor am I damaged. I adore the chill that seeps deeper within me than most could fathom. I appreciate that my environment is difficult for others, in that it assures me only the best for me can stand to stick around. No, this doesn't make me special. This makes me my own. I can live unapologetically, and so can you. 

I admire your tenacity. Your love for life and your heated energy can be quite infectious. It's a wondrous thing, I admit. It simply isn't meant for me. 

So I'm sorry, sweetheart. My skin will never burn for you. That's alright though, isn't it? I can admire your flame from afar. I can appreciate the beauty of something without yearning for it to be mine. The world needs more of that.

Quivering voices stagger on the edge

an orange and black orb swings in wind

glomming onto survival like purple fruit

entangled vines searching for erstwhile home

The inside dusty remnants leave no footprints

symbolic creatures of muscular tension

lead savage trails of ligaments and tendons

threaded in braids tightly woven, creeping.

Crumbled mansions of my dusky past

wing away like broken blackbirds

I listen for harsh doorbells and

hanging lanterns through ashes

hidden in the depths of silver alcoves.

Silent dwelling can’t speak through glued lips

can’t hear hope above the lion’s growl

shrieks and howls speak from rundown bowels

empty space unfilled and desolate, crawls

Hark! I hear the reflections of an errant doorbell

chasing the calls of worms and spiders

clearing the murky days of darkness and doom

reflecting upon wisdom that betrayal imitates joy.

I yank the remembrance of where I once resided

pull strands of memory from orifices of my skull

hypnotized by the orange and black eye, swinging

out of periphery of my sight and mind’s eye

But I strain for the creaking sounds of cradle rocking

knowing that there must have been a dwelling here

or was it just a hallucination of what I yearned to see

I now know that nothing at all is guaranteed to be

My skin caught on fire at the sight of the creamy ivory of her lushness just begging to be sipped and savored with my tongue. Seductive heavy lashed eyes gazed at my inner soul, urging me to fall abjectly at her feet. Her breasts were like full moons shining luminously in white gold beams of enticement. Shapely legs begged me to travel to their molten source. Even her name was beautiful – Lorelei – named after a woman who was rumored to be a bewitcher of men as well a siren calling them to their deaths.

“Stay away from her.” My deceased mother’s voice instilled itself into my head, pounding in her insistence, “She is no good. She’ll hurt you.”

“Be quiet, mother,” I shouted, “go back to your netherworld and leave me alone.”

I knew in my last kernel of awareness that my mother was right. Although I was overcome by a malignant aura foretelling that Lorelei was evil incarnate, I chose to turn my back, ignoring my subconscious warnings. I argued with myself in heated words, rationalizing that I would just ride the magic carpet to wherever it took me, without worrying about the consequences. I promised myself that I would leave after sampling her wonders. My pulse quickened as little beads of sweat decorated my upper lip in moistness. “I am coming, Lorelei,” I crooned, as I floated toward her in ignorant bliss.

“You’ll be sorry. Don’t do it!” I paid no heed to my mother’s distant fading voice.

Lorelei was everything that had been promised to me as I lost myself in her

whirlwind of pure lust. She gave to me until I begged her to stop. “Please,”

I cajoled, “I can’t go on forever as you can. There has to be an ending.”

But Lorelei continued with her passionate ministrations of moist lips, probing tongue, and stroking hands leading me to her very center. Finally, I crashed into the rock wall that the Song of Lorelei had promised me in legends of the past. My heart could take it no longer and ceased its hammering life.

Once again, I heard the warning voice of my mother, “I warned you, son! Now you’ll be with me forever in the clouds. She was the death of you!”

Although I don't trust at all.

I give chances in hopes of no

disappointments. Those are very

rare to come by these days. I'm a

bit Leary always and "hmm" everyone

and everything. Society is a damaged soul.

Yet, people keep ripping pieces of her with no

intent to make it a better place. I keep my circle

small and love many from a long distance. Life

is peculiar and people are suspicious. I believe in truth

no matter the heartache it may bring. I don't like words

being used in such manner of emptiness and what someone

thinks I want or need to hear. I don't need or want to hear

anything. Silence is better than bullshit!!!! My heart needs to

see things and feel unconditional. I am a very Intelligent woman

and can't stand when it's insulted. My point is at the end of the day

Society does enough damage on its own and often my heart is breaking,

broken, or walked on without others wiping their feet off first. I've not always been the nicest person. And God knows I've not always made the right choices in my life. But, I've grown. I've blossomed into a beautiful flower. And, My wings. My wings are free and wild and ready to fly beyond my wildest dreams. I have a lot to offer. I have a lot of love to give. Yet, its funny I often dream it will be buried with me in my death of curiosity and loving all the wrong Souls.

My smoke and mirror gentleman,

it takes a curious magic

to make me feel like Alice 

through the looking glass

every time you charm the room

with your oddities

My cloak and shadow thespian,

it takes a comical tragic

to make me feel like Juliet

after fool-heart death

every time you stun the stage

with your sorcery

My masked and nimble maestro,

it takes a celestial magic

to make me feel like dancing

at the world's edge

every time you inspire my heart 

with your strangeness.

I have a confession

See, I battle with depression

I fight a war of contrition

While lacking ambition

The sun stopped shining

As I was consigning

Words that were rhyming

To a heart that was pining

It was my own assignment

At attempting alignment

Without malignment

As an act of refinement

Yet, I failed

& my sanity bailed

The train derailed

Into oblivion I sailed

What went wrong?

How did I start this song?

A melody so long

I've lost where I belong

Storm clouds darkened as they came

To play their grotesque little game

& though I tried to douse the flame

I knew I'd never be the same

I don't know why

All I can do now is sigh

& think of every plausible lie

To tell them when they see me cry

I used to laugh

I wore a smile as my scarf

Then my heart tore in half

Now grief is my autograph

Everything I loved

I boxed up & gloved

Pushed aside & shoved

Till they became lost & unloved

I just want to scream

I'm ripping at the seam

Contained like whipped cream

Inside this hellish dream

It's so empty here

No hope, only fear

& the Reaper will leer

As his demons jeer

They will mock you

Massacre you through & through

Chain you to their prison crew

& there's nothing you can do

Im all alone

Shackled to this stone

With every move I groan

In this pain I've always known

I long for the light

That once shone so bright

I crave it with all my might

But its forever out of sight

My only friend

Is a bitter end

A pill to send

Me round the bend

I feel nothing

Yet I fear everything

Terrified of something

That is forever coming

It is worth it

To keep getting bit?

Should I just sit

& take every hit?

It's an endless procession

A masochistic obsession

To numb the expression

Is this a transgression?

I don't want to fight

I can't see the light

I see black, not white

& it's a ghastly sight

I'd love to see the sun once more

Remember what I once lived for

I used to drink sunlight through a straw

Now it's regressed to beguiling folklore

There's a song that sings

Of taking the weather as it brings

Whatever it would upon its wings

Instead of choking it with strings

But, maybe I want to choke

& suffocate inside my cloak

Breathe in the poisonous smoke

Like its some fantastic joke

My life is a nightmare

& I'm trapped in its snare

Caught in its lair

Does anyone care?

Among the clouds I'm lost

Frozen by frost

Into despair I've crossed

Into anguish I'm tossed

I've fallen down the rabbit hole

Probably even lost my soul

I stabbed it with a rusty pole

& replaced it with this lump of coal

If only I couldn't feel pain

Then maybe I could stop the rain

Wash away the bloody stain

Get off this suicidal train

But it's moving too fast

So many stops I've passed

& the weather's overcast

I don't think I can last

BY: Me (Chanelle J)

26th July 2017

©CJ

My skin caught on fire at the first touch of skin that I had ever experienced with the love of my life. It was a simple action; nothing big, but I had never felt goosebumps with such an affectionately eager feeling before. My heart was racing, blood pressure sailing across the sea as I only longed for much more than a friendly hug. I think he saw it in my eyes: the fear, the excitement, the longing. Because after that moment, I couldn't say a word without my shaking legs and tongue-twisted speech interrupting us. We didn't talk much that night anyway, except for the flirty glances exchanged from across the yard. Our eyes seemed to hold up all the conversation that was needed, and even though there was a distance between us, this conversation could last for hours. I should have regretted something about that night: the lack of communication, anti-socialization, but somehow I felt better than ever before. That first touch, the hug in which I became contained within his being physically, mentally, and emotionally, drifted me out of reality and into a state of dreams. From this point on, I couldn't tell the difference between dreaming and real life. My imagination had the best of me, and I didn't want to travel back to the real world. Eventually I had to face the wretched truth that he didn't feel the same way. Sitting on my bed under a pink blanket thinking back to the party, I made the impulsive decision to call him. Of course I had no idea what I would even say, but as soon as I heard his soft voice say, "Hey Nicole," all of my emotions came pouring out. I told him exactly how I felt when we hugged, and how stupid it probably was of me, yet all he could do was laugh. "Why are you laughing?" I managed to ask, and, after a brief moment of silence his only words were, "Because I love you." The world stopped turning as I let out a quick gasp. God, I hope I'm not dreaming, I thought to myself. I returned to reality when I remembered that the call was still on the line. "Can we meet tonight for coffee and a chat?" I asked. "I'll meet you at 7," he said, with a tone of excitement. 

I sat down at a table outside of the coffee shop that I had planned to meet him. 6:56 pm, my watch read. Suddenly I heard a familiar voice. I looked up to see the most beautiful pair of ocean blue eyes; the same ones that had been exchanging glances a short week ago. Without saying a word I stood up and hugged him with a true passion, this time my heart engulfing in flames.

Einstein once said that World War 4 will be fought with sticks and stones

But what is likely is that the next World War will be fought using disks and codes

And the most dangerous threats won’t be nuclear attacks

But a sophisticated shut-down of major cities worldwide by a series of computer hacks

The click of a mouse will inevitably lead to much more damage done

Than pulling the trigger of any machine gun

With unmanned drones hovering over homes, there will be nowhere to run

Instead of having tanks on the flanks

There will be apprehensive investors queuing up at banks after banks

After hearing about an enemy hack, trying to get their money back but all hopes dashed

Then nations left in financial ruins as their economies and stock markets crash

And in keeping with the changing nature of World Politics and its modernized ideas

World Leaders with take to social media to use Soft Power Diplomacy

To negotiate peace treaties and to advocate for a return to normalcy

In the hopes of preventing civil wars and mutinies

Just because a group of computer whizz brought the International community to its knees

And just so you don’t picture these mercenaries as terrorists or thugs in the streets

The likely image of Public Enemy #1 is probably a pyjamas-wearing computer geek

With square glasses, coffee-addicted suffering from video game fatigue after weeks without sleep

But he, himself, singlehandedly will reveal more State secrets than Wiki leaks

Come on let’s face it, the protection of ICT databases will be a higher priority than military bases

The warning signs of the times are here, and it’s seen in the increase in cyber crimes

In this digital age, really how secure is our digital infrastructure?

Encryption, firewalls and passwords are virtually useless against State-sponsored intrusions

Cyber espionage, eavesdropping, tampering and unauthorized surveillance of everyone’s

Whereabouts through their smart devices breaching our privacy to record our conversations

And it doesn’t matter if it’s a Windows or a Mac, your OS will still come under attack

From theft of hardware to worms, viruses, malware, spyware even Trojans

There will be relentless fights over bits and bytes resulting in the freezing of websites

And caching of your online personal details and all of the emails you’ve ever typed

Everyone will be affected and everyone will be a victim of this crisis

Whether it is the grounding of the public transportation across the nation

Or it’s the computerized electronics in our homes and the ones in our possession

Cyber-attacks relies on the element of surprise and come in different shapes and sizes

Computer security or the lack thereof will be the primary cause of World War 3

It is important to remember that war is still war whether or not it is in binary

The aim is still the same, and that is to cause people pain

The only thing that would change is a cyberspace terrain

Is this another conspiracy theory or a not-so farfetched actuality?

What is it worse to be, informed and paranoid or gullible and naive?

“I fear the day that technology will surpass our Human interaction. The world will have a generation of idiots” – Albert Einstein

(c) A.Williams, 2016.

Let’s be real, it’s a dog eat dog world and to get ahead you’re gonna need some aid

Let’s not play the fool or stick our heads in the sand but call a spade, a spade

The world we live in isn’t quite a utopia

It’s flawed and laced with short cuts and favouritism

One may ask, ‘What’s really wrong with nepotism?’

If it gives you an opportunity you didn’t work for

Preferences might have gotten you in, but that ought not them from showing you the door

Everyone knows that team chemistry, tight bonds, close-knitted relationships are a must

It’s the best thing for corporate success nowadays, plus

Add the fact that the money is kept within the family for many generations

And that personally grooming and mentoring your hand-selected heir apparent is better for smooth successions

Arguably a family-oriented business is better to deal with that a robotic conglomerate enterprise

It may seem though like compromising moral ethics but it’s also an investor-friendly paradise

However, the problem that can arise with having links is corruption

Especially in a society that claims to be based on meritocracy and not ascriptive connections

Because it deprives the ordinary Joe’s and Jill’s from paying their bills

Perks and benefits gained from one’s social circles is not wrong in and of itself

Especially if there no perceived harm caused to procure your wealth

But in all honesty such an explanation is really unsatisfactory

How can there be jobs created for others, but no vacancy for the holder of a Masters degree or PhD?

Like it is a curse to be a part of a different family tree?!

Who one “knows” is not an indication of their sense of responsibility

Networking is certainly the foundation of being a salesperson and pyramid schemes

Where unless you work for yourself, you will be working your life building others’ dreams

The world is not level, so says the mule

Not all are created equals and maintaining the status quo is just the system’s rule

But even with that, one of the worst things that could happen

Is if one was to waste such privileges and take those unfair favours for granted

Then Networking is not only a conflict of interests but a detriment to the labour force

Because productivity is low while the unemployed at home, is a willing work horse

On closer scrutiny, links can be seen as a compromise of integrity

And that’s not something we would want to promote in our society

But there are situations in which network connections are justified

Some people just need some leeway or a lucky break to actualized

Their full potential and talents that would be hidden if they were not given

A chance or shown immense faith by their high-ranking friend

After all, encouragement does sweeten and motivate labour

And to escape the dreaded claws of poverty by having a benefactor

Makes the sponsor not only a Good Samaritan but also a Saviour

(c) A.Williams, 2015.