my haikus are not traditional and sometimes kind of lame, but that's okay

free speech makes some people uneasy

some people don't like my poems

because they don't rhyme

some refuse to even read them

if they are in all italics

some writers are cool and friendly

others are pretentious dickheads

I find it amusing (and somehow validating) to get blocked

some repugnant jerk-offs actually use AI to “write” and other people here “like” it

the truly creative are not celebrated enough

you gotta tag people properly, man, or they won't see your damn reply to comments LOL this took my retarded ass forever to learn

there seems to be no rhyme or reason to “Spotlight” piece selections (there are AI pieces there as well, so what the fuck?)

I miss being able to use links (e.g. to another written piece or to music)

I have been inspired by other writers here (thank you)

I need to be a “subscriber” in order to create challenges and I don't like that

writing is a humbling process

I miss the Prose guy's videos

he had such a cool vibe and a killer voice

overall, I'm glad to be here

I don't like to stare too long at myself in the mirror.

I notice the tan lines, and the shrinking of my breasts,

and I turn away.

I do not know what I look for.

Bruises that do not exist. Taut-flesh that hangs loose.

I look for some proof of what I went through.

Scars I was unfamiliar with bubble up years later under scrutiny,

and I curl a lip.

What do I have to show for this?

I know I haven't gained that much weight, or lost that much muscle, and my skin cant truly look this dull so quickly. But I see through funhouse eyes, at a genocidal body.

How nice

How other people can

Simply

Turn the page

So to speak

Gracefully

Move on

That is not my way

I did not turn the page

I ripped those motherfuckers out

with my teeth

Gouged at the binding

with bleeding fingertips

Burned the pieces

Used the ash

To mix with

self pity and tears

And used it for makeup

So on the outside

I can look just like

the fucking lunatic

I am

On the inside

"Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 19:14

Is Christmas only for children? If you think so, you have lost some important hard-wiring in your brain. You're less human.

Our minds are a gestalt: beyond the autonomic drive to breathe and rhythmic impulses keeping our hearts beating, we're also born with innocence.

But innocence is not a lack of something.

Innocence isn't merely a blank slate—ignorance of the world. It is not the stupidity that proclaims that "sucker born every minute." Thereon are instruction sets written in invisible ink; we all come into the world hard-wired with that innocence.

Innocence has room for life's inscriptions, written in life's calligraphy, in many hues of ink. Sometimes, in colors of pain. But how easily our original instruction sets are overwritten!

Have you ever tried explaining to a child why some people hate others? Even people they don't know? Or why some people do unspeakable things to others, as if any reason could justify it? Especially societally?

Why can't a child understand why one religion sees hurting members of another as a good thing? Something that pleases God? Or hurting members of other nations; or skin? Would a child see homosexuality as bad? What if it were explained as love between two people?

When the children in Matthew swarmed Jesus and bugged his disciples, they shooed them away, like irritating gnats. Jesus rebuked them for slighting those closest to the God of the love he was teaching.

A child comes into the world as pure love.

Watch children's reactions to nonsensical hate. Or the Nightly News. They don't fail to understand because they're ignorant of the real world; or stupid. No, they fail because it contradicts the hard wiring we're born with. Calligraphy fails. Their slates become cluttered with graffiti, spray-painted in tears.

And blood.

If you've ever defended to a child any reason justifying hate and ill will—successfully—then perhaps you're the problem. How far have you distanced yourself from the loving God in whose presence you were born? (It's all downhill from there.)

This Christmas, suspend disbelief and join the innocence of childhood. Even if Jesus means nothing to you, innocence is a Godly thing and yours to miss.

It bothers me so much

This detail broke my heart

It was a murder-suicide

A husband

A wife

Huge news

In a town

With a population of 325

I understand

Human lives were lost

I don't discount that

But what really broke me

Was learning

He killed the dogs too

I’ve always wanted to be a little more creative in my stories, but I’m so fascinated with humanity as is. The way we weave our own stories creates life and creates energy and motion. Change is developed by each choice we make and I just think that the bees knees. I think that’s where a lot of my fear has stemmed over the years. I certainly have specific events that affected me, but they come from the uncontrollable choices of others. I guess I’ve never been able to trust anyone. I don’t fully, truly, and without a doubt trust anyone. Except for Keith, he’s the beacon of light that pushes me to experience outside of keeping myself safe. Or just surviving. Because I want to feel, to taste, to cry.

I know that every day presents an opportunity for everything to change. Every day… that’s crazy. And every single person, or even a drop of rain can affect the outcome of my story. And I don’t have one say. CRAZY. Overwhelming. Beautiful and tragic and I can’t get enough. I’m tired of being on the outside looking in and I deserve to enjoy as much of it as I can. I want to build my own worlds and put my characters down different paths. I want to see where my mind can take me. That’s a whole other thing – the shit our minds come up with. Which is kind of what I meant by “more creative”. People develop technology that lives purely in story form but is completely understood. Sometimes mimicked into reality. CRAZY. These are the things that blow my mind. I want to explore new species, cultures, and creations. We get to just make everything up! It’s never-ending.

I live in the southern United States.

I grew up thinking that as an american, I had the constitutional right, to express my opinions as long as I am not intentionaly trying to hurt anothers feelings.

However, I am finding this not to be true. The truth is that you only can have free speech as long as you agree with the social media and thier agenda. If what I have to say goes against what they decide is correct and morally right, I get told Im uneducated, that Im stupid, and name calling!

So where is my freedom of speech? Why is everything racist or hatespeech if you disagree with someone on like say abortion?

Even if you give your own account just to prove you also have been there, you get called a liar.

Just this last week I have been told how nasty I am simply for disagreeing and presenting an aposing opinion.

I was told I have no compassion for other people, when that couldn't be further from the truth!

I just have a real hard time understanding why, if we disagree, is it a big deal?

Im not trying to indoctrinate anyone by expressing my thought on a post. (It was an AITAH post on Reddit)

I wasn't snotty, but just factual, but I sure caught heck.

Anyway, just be prepared that you really arent free to express yourself if you disagree with anyone because that instantly makes you whatever nasty hateful thing they want to call you.

One day I'll wake up, and you'll be there again, in my arms, sleeping blissfully.

One day I'll wake up, and feel the greatest relief ever known to a living being.

One day I'll wake up, and every mistake, every hurt, every regret will become nothing but a bad dream.

One day I'll wake up, and everything will be right again.

Maybe one day I'll wake up.

I want to move to some land all my own. I'd have my dogs of course. Mostlty woods, a large meadow and springfed pond.

I would have a small cabin in the edge of the tree line, built like a dug out for hot sumers and then a part up in the trees to get away from predators if need to.

I would have a small chicken coop, a few goats, a couple cows, and at least one mule for working. I would have a well with a windmill and another windmill for electricity plus a solar station for extra.

I would have a small garden, grow enough for me and the animals and grow hay for the winter.

Everything is self sustainable.

This is my paradise.

What I would give to get away from society and live off grid.

I am barred to this

I am barred to that

& every borrowed

word bows & nods

a twinkle in the skies

to have come to me,

myself & all the wine

I have poured out

inside my head

&

yet we'll not

complain...

You are barred to this

You are barred to that

& every borrowed

word bows & nods

a wrinkle in the mind

to have come to us,

selfless & drunken thus

we have poured on

from our content

2024 DEC 09