you’re here, but not

You're here, but not.

You're mine, but not.

You're dead, but not.

I'm not sure how to deal with this. Never have I needed to worry about you this way. When you went out to the market late at night or when you went to parties without me. But never like this. What is happening to you? You don't know and neither do I. So, what do I do?

It's not the same. Our conversations are filled with an awkward presence. It's like you're not the only ghost in the room. And I can no longer hug you the way I used to. I can no longer kiss you tenderly when I leave in the mornings. I can no longer cry into your shoulder when it becomes too much. I can't feel you at all.

It's like you're here, but somewhere else entirely.

It's like you're mine, but we've drifted far apart.

It's like you're here, but no, you really aren't.

And I honestly would prefer you to be gone completely instead of stuck where you are.

Be free.

That's all I really want.