Why do I hate myself?

Why do I hate myself?

It's not like this is what I wanted out of life.

I've tried so very hard to be happy with myself. 

I've tried so hard to fight away the darkness inside of me.

Looking at others who don't seem to have a single worry makes me sick.

I can't even stand to look at myself in the mirror and these...things just walk around as if they have no issues in themselves.

Why?

Why them?

Why not me?

Why must I be the one who cries alone at night?

It's not fair.

Watching as the world revolves, changes, and yet I stay stagnant in my state of melancholy.

It's like watching everyone else grow old and yet you remain a child.

And I'm the child that was never wanted so I just feel even more hatred for remaining this way.

I can't escape.

I can only ask myself....why?