Can’t Take It No More

The anger rushes through my veins instead of blood.I inhale depression instead of oxygen.I exhale happiness instead of carbon dioxide.It seems like when things are starting to get better they always seem to turn around.I thought this time I finally escaped the darkness but now I finally understand that it follows me everywhere.Life will never get better for me.I have to live with that idea.I'm getting in trouble for what others do.why?WHY!My brother gets all this special care when he cries.When I cry I get scolded at.My brother gets special treatment because he opened up about his "depression" but I get punished when I have mental breakdowns.I don't open up my feeling one hundred percent to no one.I keep all the darkness built up in me.Sometimes that darkness escapes and I get caught into the depths of hell.I just can't take it no more.Happiness is not an option.It seems like happiness is not a word,it has no definition.It seems like the only word that seems to have more meaning and existence is sadness.Sadness is all I know.I'm becoming a maniac.