18 year old me

The best piece of advice I can give you is to not fear heartbreak. I will not lie to you, your first breathe without him will sting like shards of glass in your lungs and a bullet shot through your heart. Your second, third, fourth and fifth breathes will burn so bad they bring tears to your eyes and force a grimace across your face. Eventually, the pain subsides and you're brains clear enough to think. Your thoughts will wander back to the times you two laid in bed, stuck in a web of utter euphoria as you gazed into each others eyes and as warmth trickled down your spines. Your thoughts will find their way back to the very first day he kissed you and said, "I'm in love with you." Tears will well up in your beautiful eyes but the stabbing pain is replaced but a unforgiving feeling of longing. Longing for his voice to whisper those words of comfort one last time. Longing for his arms to wrap around your shoulders and pull you against his warm chest. Now my child, this part is tough to hear and even harder to do but STOP. DO AS I SAY..

Stop thinking it's your fault.

Stop looking at yourself in the mirror and thinking you aren't beautiful enough.

Stop looking at your phone hoping to see him call or text you.

Stop waiting for him to say it was a mistake and that he wants to be with you again, because he won't.

Repeat to yourself that just because two people love each other it doesn't mean they are meant to be together. Look at yourself in the mirror and say, "I'm beautiful, inside and out." Go outside and surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Don't you dear shut people out of your life. You will eventually find a boy who makes you smile and blush just by looking at you in the eyes. You will find another boy who makes butterflies multiple in your stomach and adrenaline course through your veins. This person, this new love will help you discover more about yourself than the last. I can't promise you the next heartbreak will hurt any less, but I CAN promise you that you will be better equipped to weather the storm and be ready to push yourself to start again.

You will never learn as much about yourself as you do during and after your first real heartbreak. If you never allow yourself to love and get your heart broken, then you will never know what you're capable of. You will never know just how much you can truly handle. You will never know how to react when you're pushed past your limits. You will never really know you're whole self. You will never reach your full potential or help another reach his or hers. You will never be the person you are meant to be.

So my best piece of advice I give to you (my 18 year old self) is to never fear heartbreak.