There was a girl with eyes bright like the sun and a laugh that pulled you and held you down like gravity. Magnetized by her rhythmic voice you couldn't resist, you revolved around her like the moon around the earth, desperate to feel its vibration.

There was nothing she wanted more than those two burdened boys to smile their beautiful smiles.

Night and day she smothered them with love till she was dry.

No drip, no drop left to catch for herself.

The boy with curly black hair and a deep nasally voice had to swallow his mothers purple pills so he wouldn't wake up with tears streaming down his cheeks and screaming her name because the nightmares started again.

The boy with fiery red locks and callused finger tips had to punch the walls so he didn't hit her face instead.

The boy with curly black hair and a deep nasally voice had to lift the blade to the vein throbbing in his neck because the pills didn't work anymore. His voice raspy from screaming, now silent. His tear stained cheeks, now cold.

The boy with fiery red locks and callused finger tips laid in the snow to numb his bloody knuckles and to freeze the heart that caused him so much agony. His locks looked liked fire piercing through the snow when the dogs found him.

The girl that had eyes bright like the sun with a laugh that pulled you and held you down like gravity was now the girl with pale blue eyes that never laughed again.

There's a boy with pretty hair warm like a sunset

And a smile that slays

There's a boy with a sarcasm in his words

And an shield of iron humor on his arms to hide the heart in his hand that is tucked behind his bloody knuckles.

There's a boy at war with his mind and his body

Fighting the impulses that are threatening to consume the serenity in his limbs and lips.

There's a boy with freckles covering every inch of his Irish existence, one mark on his skin for each time she told him that she couldn't do it anymore, that she needed to make the pain stop.

And another for each time he held their mothers hand and told her it would be okay till he had no strength left to squeeze and no voice left to speak.

There's a man with a laugh loud enough to force the corner of the stiffest lips to turn up with glee.

There's a man with broad, chiseled shoulders with the strength of an ox to balance the heavy burdens of many.

There's a man with a kind and wise voice that vibrates the soul

Awakening the hearts that have been in deepest of hibernations

And rough calloused fingers that pull away the cobwebs from the eyes held tightly shut

Out of fear that they will see they have been left alone in the darkness before finding the light

There was this boy, there is this man that ignites every nerve in my body with a grace of his presence.

That boy, this man nourishes the caterpillars in my intestines propelling them into a metamorphosis and forces the butterflies to relentlessly kiss the lining of my stomach

This man makes these lyrics soar through my fingertips and reverberate through my soft lips and dance through the air

" but I guess it's hard for some people who are so used to the things the way they are even if they're bad, to change. Cuz I guess they just kinda give up and when they do everybody looses. It's hard , you can't plan it. You have to watch people more, sorta keep an eye on them. Cuz they can't always see what they need . It's like your big chance to fix something that's not like your bike. You can fix a person "

This is a quote from the little boy in the movie 'Pay It Forward' I think we can all learn a lesson from this little boy. Imagine living in a world where we all helped each other. No one would be alone

I used to cringe at affection

You can ask my friends

I'm the girl who hates cuddling

I'm the girl who gets uncomfortable with cute words

Until him I thoroughly believed I was incapable of being in love.

One night, everything I thought I knew about myself and the idea of "love" changed.

I ran into him on the streets one night and a fire ignited inside of me. Butterflies devoured the lining of my stomach and a smile glued to my face. Since the day I met him, I knew with every inch of my being that he's my soulmate. The sound of his voice jumpstarts my heart and signals every nerve in my body. The cobwebs that had surrounded my blackened heart are gone and what's left is beautifully pink pumping new one.

Since the very first moment

I laid my hazel eyes on you

With your curly black hair

And lanky limbs

I heard that innocent laugh

And a nasal voice that could make

Even the sternest giggle

I knew it was like nothing I had felt before

The sight

The smell

The thought

Of you

Would send my thoughts into chaos

Words unable to escape my lips

My heart yearned for you

Unarmed and begging to be uncovered

Your smile sent steaming blood coursing through my veins

Rushing to my blackened heart tearing through the cobwebs

The ash and debri swept away by the warmth of your lips

Passing glances and tender eyes

My shell punctured from the spark of your fingers

Melted by the warmth of your touch

One day, the air

Cool and calm

All of a sudden

The butterflies are gone

Smothered by an invisible force

Poisoned by a toxin unknown

The cobwebs have begun to regrow

The warmth of your smile no longer able to thaw my frozen heart

2:50 AM

My head on my pillow, my nose in encased in the lavender and my thoughts miles away.

Where are you?

Are you okay?

Are you feeling better?

Can I help you?

I know, I should've been there for you before you tried to end it but I've been moving forward.

How can I know when you need my help when I'm not a round anymore?

I no longer get a knot in the pit of my stomach when you're in trouble.

For the string that connected us so tightly, for so long snapped worn thin from being tugged so many times.

I feel like it's my fault. I should have known. I should have had a inclination, but I'm not a superhero.

I'm a girl in college miles away from a boy who needs help.

Needless to say, I wish you had told me before you picked up the knife.