Endless Blue Sky

Loneliness was by my side every day. I knew even as a small child in daycare that the others regarded me as strange. I wouldn't play with them in the sand. I hated the feeling of it rubbing against my skin. I was also aware that I had to be careful of my clothes. I took great care in not getting it dirty. Perhaps it was me already trying not to be a bother to anyone.

My thinking was different. The other children were such children, only interested in the physical. I was living in my head, my mind conjuring stories far more interesting than the real world around me. It could take me away to a place where I was admired and appreciated. I was a princess, with my subjects looking at me with love.

Maybe I loved nap time the most. One day, it was bright and sunny outside. Our caretakers placed our barred beds by the house of the daycare. The roof only partially blocked out the sky. I couldn't stop looking at the fluffy clouds passing overhead on a sea of blue. It felt endless. Like my life at the time. I had the illusion that everything in my head could one day come true. I could be admired. I could be famous.

However, that person died a long time ago. All her cells had died and been replaced by new ones. Her wondering mind had been dragged into the harsh cold facts of reality. Only I mourn her, because only I really knew her. At the same time, I am her killer. All that remains of her, is my love of an endless blue sky.