So I was taking the bus home from school today. There was a homeless man on the bus, seated across from where I was standing. He was pale and had brown hair and a beard. He was 31, according to what he said. The bus had maybe forty people in it. Not crowded but not empty either.

This homeless man, he was speaking out loud. Not to anyone in particular. He was just speaking out loud, in a volume that was just a little bit loud, so that a decent amount of people could hear but no one would be bothered.

He talked about how the federal government was not doing enough to combat climate change and protect the environment. He talked about how climate change was getting worse and the government wasn’t doing enough to stop it because they cared about the fossil fuel industry more than peoples’ lives. He mentioned how scary it was that there still wasn’t snow in November.

He also voiced that public transit (buses, LRT, etc) should be free. Because that would help the environment and because it would give homeless people a space to stay out of the cold. Also because it would help poor people get to where they needed to go without becoming broke. He expressed that it gets really cold in the winter. And especially recently, since climate change is causing the Arctic vortex to get looser so all the cold winds from the Arctic are coming into the south. And if homeless people had somewhere warmer to go in the winter, like a bus for example, that would really help a lot of people.

He discussed how most homeless people don’t act rowdy or unruly on the bus, and how a lot of middle class people do act rowdy and unruly on the bus. Which tracks well with what I’ve seen, the only rowdy people I’ve seen have all been middle class, and I’ve ridden the bus a whole lot. And he discussed how homeless people have a human right to be somewhere warm.

He talked about anti homeless architecture on the buses. The new seats on the buses, the plastic seats, they make it harder for people to lie down and sleep. (There are three places on each bus that each have three seats in a row together and one place that has five seats.) He explained how if there are enough seats for everyone, which there often is, then homeless people sleeping on the bus aren’t bothering or hurting anyone.

He also explained that homeless people deserve to be able to sleep on the bus, because they deserve somewhere to sleep that isn’t cold. See the thing is, and most people in my city don’t know this, the homeless shelters are overflowing and they don’t have enough space for everyone. Anyways, as the homeless man was explaining, a lot of homeless people have no choice but to sleep outside. And when you sleep outside on a day or night when it’s really cold (which is happening more frequently due to the polar vortex becoming looser and coming south due to climate change), you may not wake up at all. Or you will wake up with frost bite and lose body parts. This really disturbed me, the reality of people going to sleep in the horrific cold and not waking up at all.

He discussed the inflation that is happening recently due to corporate price gouging. How food is more expensive, and homeless people can’t afford to buy the food they need. He discussed how it’s hard for homeless people to buy food to begin with since they can’t cook anything due to not having kitchens.

And he expressed how so many of the people he met on the streets were the kindest people ever. How they had so much kindness for him. How they gave up what little they had in order to help him out. How they were so generous, how they helped him and each other even at great personal sacrifice. He talked about how someone even gave him their shoes once.

I told him that I was listening to what he was saying, that I agreed and that I was glad he was saying this. He shook my hand, and then we sat down to talk together. He told me that he wasn’t lazy, that he had to walk around all day. I told him that that must be exhausting. And truly it is very exhausting having to walk around all day, I know that from personal experience. And homeless people do have to do that because if they stay in one place then the cops come to beat them and steal their possessions. He talked about how he made sure to properly put out his cigarettes so that he didn’t cause fires, and about how he didn’t litter.

I told him that I wished I had something I could give him. (At the time I didn’t have any money or food on me and I didn’t even have a hat on me.) He said it was okay since he had some raw chicken hot dogs and some wonder bread and some cheap ketchup. I had to get off the bus at that point because it was my stop. But I believe that it’s very important that his story is told and shared.

My previous post, Questions, was inspired by the posts of a rising star on this site—a star whose literary "creations" are being celebrated as par excellence. Their posts are also, almost certainly, all or mostly generated by AI. Many of their comments and replies to comments are also from AI.

Questions was generated by ChatGPT and posted unedited, except for the title, which I added. I'll let you all discover the rising star for yourselves, assuming you're interested. Just look for posts that have a similar structure and style as Questions: enchanting, magical, verbose, and a little too sweet. Other telltale signs include liberal use of the word 'whisper' and overly optimistic endings. Think of Questions as your benchmark.

Some of you have been gushing over this rising star's posts so much I thought I was gonna barf on my laptop. I couldn't fucking take any more. Don't get me wrong; I think AI is great. I've worked with it as a developer and in real life. And FWIW, I get that y'all want to be artists and not think about AI. Don't be left behind. AI holds many benefits to you if you learn to use it. But don't be duped by some shithead's AI-generated posts.

10/24/2024

Reading is a compelling passion for a portion of the globe. When you flip open a novel and peer at the small feeble font sprawled across the pages in preceise positions, your life pauses. Your background blurs. It mutes any noise from your surroundings and allows you to focus on the intricate characters, exquisite vocabulary, and carefully placed details.

The Google definition defines reading as “a cognitive process that involves decoding symbols to arrive at meaning and receiving information.” While that is their interpretation of the favored verb, I would define it much differently. I would comment that reading is like jumping into another individual's life and going through their life beside them. You experience the same emotions as the characters in the delicate tale.

When a reader scans the thin smooth pages and notices the lovely aroma of the novel, they can instantly appreciate the time and dedication it took for the author to construct such a favored masterpiece. The author attempts to display every sentence in a certain way to impact any readers.

George RR. Martin accurately produces a wonderful quote about this fascinating verb: “A man who reads lives a thousand lives, but a man who never reads only lives one.”

Long-term sobriety requires personal engagement in your recovery:

Engaged recovery requires that you constantly learn new, concrete skills which support long-term sobriety. When I think of concrete skills that support recovery, several things come to mind:

Resilience - This refers to a person’s ability to cope with adversity, or the ability to bounce back from problems and setbacks. You can develop your own resilience by establishing good problem-solving skills, by seeking help and building social support. Fostering a belief that there are things you can do to manage your feelings and cope, and finding positive meaning in trauma, are other strategies for building your resilience.

Delayed gratification - People use chemicals to change the way they feel, so if you learn skills to act on your emotions in healthy ways, including offsetting a need for immediate gratification, you can manage to fulfill your needs through avenues other than chemical use.

Develop a mission or vision statement - Write yourself a paragraph that creates a framework for your sobriety. My mission statement is as follows: “My recovery is the single most important thing in my life. Anything which jeopardizes this is eliminated.”

Developing interests outside of recovery - Getting and staying sober shouldn’t be approached as a chore. You can make it fun and enjoyable. Explore new hobbies, interests, and opportunities for personal growth that are not directly applicable to staying sober. Martial arts, films, reading, exercise, voluntary work, cooking or pets are all viable options that could add color and interest to your life while enhancing your chances of recovery.

Good Sobriety Habits - Develop good habits that support sobriety. Assign yourself time to “work” on your program, whether through meditation, journaling, time with a therapist, or exercise. This is an investment in yourself and your success. Practice mindful awareness that you may not be able to control the outcome of a situation, and continue to practice these skills until you can use them with facility and ease.

Affirmations - Using affirmations can be quite helpful. When you develop affirmations, make sure they’re worded simply, and in the present tense. They should be specific, concrete, and personal to you. Examples: “I attract all of the resources I need for comfortable recovery. I can trust people. I’m safe. I live in the present moment, and worry is a thing of the past.”

Remember, recovery is a dynamic and fluid process, rather than a single event. Be mindful that, throughout your life, you will continue to learn skills to support you as a well-rounded, healthy person. Develop enthusiasm and add good habits to help you build and maintain a rock-solid program of recovery.

Todd has been working in the field of addictions for over 37 years, within the inpatient and outpatient settings, as well as working in the Department of Corrections, the Director of Counseling for a large chemical dependency hospital, to where he's currently employed doing in-home chemical dependency engagement with (mostly) seniors. He is part of an experts forum on chemical dependency, and has a contract gig running the chemical dependency program for a long-term transitional program to support people to overcome homelessness. His sense is that sobriety is a skill and that recovery looks different for everybody

Analogous to a foreigner who sees double vision after imbibing excess drink, (cuz the smoker you are the drinker you get), and being a survivor of alcoholics, I too suffer severely discombobulated myopia courtesy third eye blind after cataract in right eye excised, thus subsequently best for me to remove glasses for good until after the cataract in left eye removed on September twelfth two thousand and twenty four, when weaker prescription for glasses will still be necessary to correct for hindsight, shortsightedness, and astigmatism, an eye condition that occurs when the shape of the cornea, lens, or entire eyeball becomes distorted, which condition can cause blurred vision, discomfort, pain, and even blindness, and if left untreated, astigmatism can lead to permanent visual impairment.

Post surgical follow up treatment involves application of Ofloxacin (Polytrim), Ketorolac, and Prednisolone eye drop protocol four times per day.

Exactly four months

from date the following poem I wrote

president number forty seven,

(and her running mate Tim Walz)

will have validated

that the electorate did vote

for democracy in a tense election

pitting and tumpeting Republican candidate

triggering unprecedented spiked incidence

and popularity of anorexia nervosa and bulimia,

driving sought after expert feedback,

and most effective and efficient techniques

boasting vendors selling out

best size faux index finger

ideal to plunge, (albeit gently)

easing regurgitation courtesy swallowing creosote

down the gullet videre licet deep throat

to trigger gastroesophageal reflux

earning sobriquet (just kidding)

of butt heading G.O.A.T.

Just after the stroke of midnight

in the oasis, where soul asylum

witnesses humanity to wax philosophic

rings in two thousand and twenty five,

when the words to Auld Lang Syne

will echo thru the fall of the house of usher

everlasting peace on earth and good will

toward all (wo)men

immediately punctuating impossible mission

to sanction the French motto

"liberté, égalité, and fraternité"

courtesy one or more

silencer spending bullets

signalling the sound of gunshots

(whew) thankfully sanctifying

Homo sapiens to exercise

their leftist right to bear arms

nearly as strong a yen

being fruitful and multiplying

despite bajillion people

comprising human league

and despite prevalence of violence

unbeknownst and oblivious

to flesh begotten courtesy

seeds of life and white lily

spurring squeals of delight

courtesy freshly minted parents

for the first or umpteenth time

answering the call of the wild

while breaking out in karaoke

the song titled -

Good Morning Starshine,

especially remembering

most poignant experiences

hashtagged, jumpstarted,

and tweeted courtesy

remaining lines issuring forth constitute

the most pregnant events

in my life follows suit.

Hands down fifty four, the most dramatic change I ever needed to make awoke from helping beget the first offspring. An internal paradigm shift reshuffled priorities such that the helpless newborn necessitated immediate attention.

Whatever task held my attention at a given time; the cry of said progeny triggered and quickly trained an obligation to become a first responder of sorts.

Yes, I readily admit that at first blush selflessness grudgingly accepted, but quickly an avid enthusiasm became manifest.

Matter of fact (and much to the surprise to this chap who never served as care taker for infants, nor young children), an instinctual natural protection arose concomitantly with attention, affection, and adoration as the ensuing years tending (to thine eldest daughter and approximately twenty six plus months later another heiress begat), this role of fatherhood entranced, galvanized, and inspired me toward increased selflessness.

The profound raw emotional impact shook my entire corporeal being to experience supreme tenderness, which set me to step up affinity to write poetry seemed a natural modus operandi de jure, which sample seems apropos to share at this juncture.

December 22nd 1996 bundle of edenic joy

twenty seven plus years ago

cap’n Matthew Scott Harris

twittered n burst with ahoy

on account of thine first borne –

unbeknownst to us then if a girl or boy

so an assortment of gender appropriate names –

some brazen others coy

filled pages of our journals videre licet

newly minted parent’s endless employ

though of Semitic ancestry choices

per namesake reflected more ova goy,

which genealogy less significant

than precious progeny healthily fused

vis a vis via twenty-six chromosomes

that did miraculously alloy

into a healthy genetically

whipped miracle – crème of the crop

that only imaginary dragons

reigning over a vampire weeknd

with fiery red hot chili peppered lyrics could drop,

whereby flute tour ring notes

induce crowdsource to hip hop

calisthenics that emulate

swishing NIKE brush strokes of a mop,

which if attempted by myself,

would witness one sic pop

so, he stonily sticks with ranks,

videre licet his literate

ass spur ray shun to confess

those thermostatic and

temperature controlled emotions more or less

extolling occasions that held poignancy,

though as a first time father

my state of managing a newborn

felt chaotic and a sorry mess

though words resonated less with Eden,

she most likely happened

to be oblivious asper YES

mine hand felt hog tied,

yet over ensuing years –

the integration of off Rites aiding spring

did indelibly impress

an invaluable psychic ring,

whereby initial awkward role

no longer on par as a foster child

for her existence,

(albeit demanding at times –

synonymous with any other

infantile pang), thine essence

acquired an acute attentiveness

to her basic needs and wants

likened to pay obeisance

per a special offering,

whose absence as a grown woman

make mine heart grow fond

(and psych doth twinge with nostalgia) asper

those long days journey into night, yet mandatory

to let go of this biological off shoot

part of me in league

to the babyhood pampering she required

cuz, now perhaps

in the near future happiness sprung

from within herself she will bring

now, a mixed bag of emotions wrestle and roil

inside her corporeal being,

I praise and prize accomplishments

spurred by natural borne desires

to become independent

rather than shutter herself up

as exemplified by das papa,

who still writhes, seethes, and orates

many forfeited explorations

of natural self discovery thwarted

renting my psyche asunder

with lightning mailer daemons

still on the prowl and trawling like internet trolls

essentially explaining present years of emotional,

financial, interpersonal and social toil

repercussions forever unfairly

induced upon the darling lass

pronounced upon this then star student,

who suffered sheer agony

when asked by classmates,

when she attended public school

within Lower Merion district

the vocations of me,

an unemployed aging

haired pencil neck geek

or “mother Abby”

which vicarious torture inflict means

to destroy myself,

cuz of this utter embarrassment, misery,

writhing really vociferously

within genetic blend, whose love

not asked for nor sought unequivocally.

DESPITE MY ACTIONS, BEHAVIORS, CHILDISH FOOLISHNES, I WOULD SOONER HARM MYSELF THAN DO ANY FURTHER INJUSTICE TO YE – ME FIRST BORN BABY!

The Idler Wheel Is Wiser than the Driver of the Screw and Whipping Cords Will Serve You More than Ropes Will Ever Do. Though coined by Fiona Apple (whose courtesy, fidelity, and integrity this papa pays homage – unbeknownst to said musician), a transformation inadvertently shook awoke compassion made inaccessible from being figuratively hermetically (psychologically) sealed against experiencing the gamut of emotions from childhood’s end until…well…the advent of parenthood.

I resume the thread bare theme tete a tete trajectory bending toward insight, which subsequent introspection to regale thee kith and kin found yours truly agonizingly aware how he impacted upon his then octogenarian widower father and (obviously) still long deceased mother.

Consonant with this vow welled inducement to place the welfare of mine older then youngest heiress before personal ambitions, a rousing revelation tore thru thee now sixty odd shades of gray matter.

An “ah ha” moment gouged deep into the bowels of thine being upon realizing the impact of mine prepubescent, adolescent and thence post-pubescent upon the body, mind and spirit of me father and mother when at a loss to rescue thine self from the maws of maelstroms muckraking the existence of their sole son.

Forgiveness toward self proffered despite the frightful scare the stalwart birth parents endured. Even at the moment of this peroration, this now middle aged man still clueless per the wherefores and why’s, a self destructive mission gripped (as if possessed) to feed the daily beast of Anorexia Nervosa.

Though still reeling from the after shocks and emotional repercussions, the dog send of nine pharmaceutical prescription medications delivers cerebral buoyancy allowing, enabling and providing a lightness of being.

E’er since conception of either prized progeny (more precious that fine spun gold), birth and maturation of both delightful darling daughters, a permanent potent permutation took place within the realm of living strong.

Any call to daddy duty dashed to in double time.

Despite the capacity, manageability, and sustainability for mostly independent heiress, their emotional, mental and physical succor for (atta girl commendable feedback) still sought, and willingly given.

Oft times, a purposelessness finds this cogent, fervent and also indigent (best left for another theme) mister at a loss to keep himself occupied.

This predilection predicated on the freedom peculiarly wrests upon paternal diminution. Now released from once appeared to be an eternal, inescapable, and mercurial “parent trap” suddenly provides good n plenti of capitalone leisure hours to tap into preserved poignant past.

Avast array of trials and tribulations transpired tracking embryonic in utero nascent recollection until tensions eased from this vantage point, whence no projection hinted at thy most prized and treasured vibrant little women, which conclusion begs (as equitable, fair and glorious) to include an ode regaling the younger royal heiress.

Thee apple each of mine (myopic) brown eye,

now twenty five plus year old

ova grown seed partly begot ba this guy

worth more to me than fine spun gold – no lie,

now itches to bend

Oregon nickleback generating fate

to acquire autonomy well nigh,

she matriculated at

Redmond Proficiency Academy and didst up ply

her innate strengths to cultivate a hold

for her called field n rye

ought she be told to maximize

and ride elevator exiting

at floor that fits life – why

embarkation of progeny

most difficult from this popping giver

yet mightiest gift

to proffer upon daughter

from dada who doth dill liver,

I can't x spleen, yet thine psyche doth quiver

thus twas mine own task

to bequeath this priceless off spring

albeit temporarily – cuz Shana

wants to answer that ring

tone of maturation,

an innocent, lovely lass purring

far greater than Purina cat chow –

yes, eventually to find a king

of hearts, now hankering

to do spade work per offering

thru avidity, comity, energy,

generosity, integrity…everything

one could ask for –

cuz Shari Harris – Dunning

ma beloved younger sister

didst exude salient features,

whose aura, charisma, dogma,

harmonica, patina persona

would bring out positive elements

of swiftly tailored Harris styled progeny aching

for womanhood of Shayna Punim (Yiddish)

to break loose

from moorings tied amidst

724 railroad avenue moose

lee a way station,

yet this father missess thee noose

sense that said daughter displayed –

and felt shellshocked, when juiced

yesterday, I held her in a car seat

then makeshift papoose

boot how like greased lightning,

she clamored to leave roost.

I pine after a fictional, sword wielding redhead clad in two piece armor that shows of her Heavenly cleavage and toned body. I scream for the loss of innocence of children I witness daily.

Yet how can I possibly take a stand for something I've lost myself. I pine after the woman in revealing armor. What I wouldn't give for those pre adolescent years when I was so innocent I'd turn away from the lifeguard trying to help me because she was clad in a bikini.

I went for a walk today. It was a pleasant ND 49 degrees. Just like today I can always tell when Fall is around the corner. Maybe it's something passed down through the mist ages of my ancestors who relied upon the Equinoxes and Solstices. The breeze blows a certain way or my skin feels the temp at just the right moment. It's like a woman's fingertips touching my soul.