The space between words

In my adult life, I've never really had much to say

I've often liked the space between words

Errant words fired into the darkness 

In hopes of lighting up a conversational target

I feel a fool when I open my mouth and 

A deluge of my life pours out, 

My hopes, and fears, hobbies, and why I cried last night

Only to be met with an errant "uh-huh"

As the listener politely waits for their chance to talk.

Never probing into what I had to say

Never trying to understand who I am

Just a gentle eye-roll and their turn to tell me what interests them

So there's no space between words.

I never feel safe, or warm, or at home around that.

The lies of our youth are that your family will always make you feel at home.

And today my father stared blankly ahead after asking how I was.

Only to reply "uh-huh" and change the subject to television.

Because he didn't like the space between words just then.

The space between words are where

I hug my knees and sit in the shower

Volcano hot scalding my back, 

As I beg the universe to reward me for trying

Trying to find new acquaintances to fill the old dents in the couch

And giving me a reason to shake the dust off the curtains.

So there's less space between words.  

That's where I fell in love too.

Sure, we talked a lot.  Ideals, and philosophy

Argued over the presence of a divine God.

In the presence of a divine goddess

But between each of those words, in that space

She wove her spell, in the silence between the incantations of the conversation.

I'll never understand why there can be so much meaning

In such a tiny space.

But you can fit a whole world of understanding

In the space between words.