Chapter 1

“If cx + 89v = 987 and v = c(85 - x) then….” I tuned out when my teacher started talking about something I was taught a few years ago. This was a review for me, they all knew that. It was just for the sake of the inspector that sat in the back of the room and came every year to see if I was learning at the right pace since I was homeschooled all my life. Since the education office for women found out that I was ahead in all my subjects, they told my parents that they should slow down because, “We wouldn’t want a woman smarter than many of the men, now would we?” as they said. From then on, whenever it was time for inspection, my instructors were all alerted and reminded to teach me something as simple as what they taught at the public high school. I was just happy that today was the last time I saw that lanky old man, with shaggy blackish-brown hair that was long overdue for a haircut. His arms hinted that he used to go work out, probably was quite the heart-breaker - 30 years ago. Now his personality was as bad as he looked, he didn’t like me speaking unless spoken to, wearing pants, and all that old-fashioned stuff from back in the day, before our current king, King Dorean of Vidorn.

As soon as King Dorean came to the throne, everything changed, I was told. Women could become doctors, professors, proprietors, pretty much everything; well, everything but one thing, which was joining the army, including being anyone's bodyguard. Nobody knows why this change happened but one rumor says that if he didn’t do that, the queen wouldn’t have married him. These days there were a lot of those kinds of rumors, but I guess this one was the most believable. The others were about him getting bewitched, dying and being resurrected by a woman, and other unrealistic stuff. Still, back then the role of the queen was different, to;, she was just there, thought of as a ‘trophy wife’, and was sent away when anything remotely important came up. Now, she was right by the king’s side while he ruled the country. Her decision held as much finality as the king’s. Even though all that happened, the people still believed that women were less important than men, and that is why women are still underpaid and taught slower in school. My parents were against all that so they paid everybody fairly and even got me the best tutors around just so that I could get the best education possible and become somebody I want to be.

“Well, I guess that is all, I don’t need to see any more than I have, and I think Miss Meyers here should retire to her room, too, since she looks like she needs to freshen up, preferably into a nice dress before seeing me and her father off,” Mister Hopkins sneered at me at the end. Then just left the room without saying goodbye to both me and Mistress Helrica, who was teaching me German after having switched out with Mister Hevelic, who was teaching me Maths earlier.

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It’s been a week since I had last gone to my academic lessons; instead, I had been sneaking off to practice my fighting skills. Fighting was the only thing that I ever loved besides my grandmother. Normally, I wouldn’t sneak out that often in a week, but my parents understood that it was all because of the inspection. So they let me do what I wanted for the week. After the week ended, though, I knew they would want me to start working on my apprenticeship with my mother. This was only existent because, in order for me to be homeschooled, my parents had to have an excuse as to why I have to be homeschooled, and that is what they came up with. That was another reason why I hated being homeschooled.

Yet a here is another reason, it was that I hardly got out this way, so I had literally no friends who would notice that I was missing. Still, my parents thought I had friends because of all the times I was not home. They obviously didn’t know that I went out to practice fighting. They would have fainted by now since fighting was the only thing that females weren’t allowed to do - which is why I am going to run away. I am going to run away and prove everyone wrong.

So when I came upon the town square to buy something for my family in return for letting me leave for the last week, I did not expect to hear what I heard, “Attention! Attention all males interested in becoming a bodyguard for the prince. He is in need of a new one.” Again? Didn’t they just come last month asking for a new volunteer? No wonder no one seemed interested;, well, except for me that is. However, I wasn’t allowed, so I couldn’t say anything.

“Anybody who is interested has ‘till the end of the week, which is in 4 days mind you, to report. If nobody from ‘ere or anywhere else, the king will randomly choose from the list of ’legeable names. Therefore I advise you to volunteer instead of having a random child be pulled from his family” Well that was encouraging, please note the sarcasm. Still, I kind of wanted to do that, too bad only guys can sign up…I was so distracted by that, that I didn’t notice my grandma until I almost ran into her, literally.

“Well, well, well. Who do we have here?” she lightly chuckled, “Haven’t seen you in a while... now to what do I owe the pleasure to meet my MIA granddaughter here, at the market place?”

“Haha…well…I guess you could say that I’m buying flowers to give to my parents as an apology for my absence? At least that was what I was planning… where is the flower cart again?” when I asked the last part I looked around nervously, afraid I walked by it when I was lost in my thoughts.

“It is right behind you, dear -” I looked behind me and saw it, making a light red color dust my cheeks, “-what were you thinking so hard about that you walked right past you favorite store, which currently has your favorite clerk at the cashier’s? Is it finally a boy or maybe even a girl? I don’t want to judge you or anything,” this only happens if your grandmother is your best - and only - friend, which is just me, everybody else seems to have more than one friend or at least one that isn’t family…

“Nooo, Grandma, gross! I was just plain old thinking…” she gave me that look, you know the one that your friends give you when they know that you’re lying, “ …that it is just soo unfair that only men are allowed to fight! Women can too, they just don’t let us prove ourselves! Plus, there are probably a lot of women who would like to signup as bodyguards, like me…” the last part I whispered so quietly, it was hardly even audible to me, so I was taken by utter surprise when my grandmother seemed like she heard.

“Well now, don’t say that out loud. Don’t say I told you this either, but you could technically become a warrior or bodyguard as long as nobody figures out that you are a girl…” she looked around, paranoid that somebody heard her breathed sentence before continuing again, “ Come child, let us buy those apology flowers for your parents.” So we went and bought those flowers before heading home.

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“LIL!! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?! WE WERE SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU! Ohhh, are those tulips? They look so nice are they for us?” My mother seemed to forget all that was going on as soon as she saw the tulips, for she stopped screaming altogether.

“Yes mother, these are tulips, and they are for you. I got them in hopes that they will help you forgive me for being the absent daughter that I have been. I am extremely and utterly sorry that I have not been here supporting you in your business in the busiest time and instead have run away to selfishly cool my temper. Also, I- ” I was interrupted by my mother throwing her arms around me and holding me so tight that I almost choked to death.

“Dear, are you trying to kill our daughter by hugging her since it seems to me that she is hardly able to breathe right now.” My lovely father came to the rescue, or more like came to make my death worse. This because when my mother had finished hugging me and pulled away only so that I could look her in the eye, all I saw was tears trying to escape.

When she spoke, her eyes could no longer hold the overflow of tears inside of them and released them, allowing them to flow down her beautiful cheekbones, “ Oh, I am truly sorry, it is just that I worried so much about my only daughter, more over my only child.” she turned to face me after saying those word to my father, only making me feel even worse. It was like I could taste the salt of her tears in the air before she continued, “ It is okay dear, we love you for who you, which includes your antics and running away. We understand why you would run after the inspector came to check with us. It is only human to want to cool down. The only thing that I bid you is that next time you leave, please, leave us a note, just so we know you are okay.”

“Yes, mother. Thank you for understanding. I will.” I promised them an empty promise but there was no need for them to know that I did not mean what I said. There was no reason for them to know that I was to leave them again and not return for half of a year at least. There was no need for them to worry about me when I would join the army as the new bodyguard for the prince.

My grandmother’s words had come back to me and helped me make my decision, “…you could technically become a warrior or bodyguard as long as nobody figures out that you are a girl…I don’t want to judge you…” I will sign up and I will show the kingdom that women are just as good as men. After a few more words and hugs were exchanged, I was sent to my room to study.

After a while of studying, I was growing bored and decided to pack my stuff away and read a book instead. Just as I started looking for a novel to read, my door started to slowly creak open and my grandmother came in. She went and sat on my bed, patting the space beside her, asking me to come sit next to her. As I made my way back to her, I was wondering why she was telling me what to do in my room.

“I know what you want to do, “ she held a hand up to stop me from interrupting her, “ but I’m not here to stop you. I came here to tell you about your grandfather and his... journey? It will be hard having nobody find out, but you will do it and I won’t rat you out. Anyway, onto what I wanted to talk to you about. I know I never talk about him, but your grandfather was an amazing man. He was in the army as well, a bodyguard to the current king to be exact, while he was the prince. One night, he was killed protecting the king from an assassination attempt.”

“I was told that before death took him, he asked the king to make women more important in society. History may say otherwise, but it actually was your grandfather who brought change to this land just like you will. So now, continue the family tradition, change this country! I bet he would have been proud of you if he saw you today. Every time you were brought into the conversation, all he could say was that you were gonna change the world, that you have a great destiny ahead of you. Go ahead, make us prouder than we are right now. Change this country. If you need any help, I am here for you.”

With that she left, leaving me with nothing to ponder about my choice anymore. Tomorrow was the last day to sign up, and I was gonna do it. With that in mind, I left my room and went to my private workshop that contained all the fabric I could ever need. I had asked our maid to ask my grandmother to come to my workshop for ‘advice on some designs’. I would ask for help on designs, just not the kind of designs that the maid thought. Once we both arrived, we started working. She told me what fabrics to use and I designed the clothes for my new wardrobe. They were a little baggy, but I had to hide that I was female. I ended up with a lot of denim and dark colored clothes.

Later that night, around eleven, I was getting ready, binding my chest and putting on my new clothes. I was proud of myself. I looked like an actual boy when I looked in the mirror, except for my long hair. I was treading cutting it, for I loved it, so I left it for last. When I finally found it in myself to cut my hair, I first cut it to about chin-length. Then, when I once again gathered my courage, I cut it so that the strands were hardly past where they stopped at the nape of my neck and didn’t go too far past the tip of my ears. When I got to the bangs, I cut them so they ended a little below my feminine eyebrows. Any feminine features were going to be blamed on my mother and how she “always wanted a girl”. That was not only the excuse for my femininity but also my want to be a bodyguard. I wanted to prove my masculinity.

Once that was done, I took a picture with an instant-film camera to leave on my grandmother’s nightstand. That way she would know what I looked like. With everything else finished, I left the photo, took the most important stuff, including my clothing and binds, that I packed this afternoon, and climbed out through my window. I was able to close my window from the outside and since it had no lock, I would not have to worry about locking it. Then without further ado, I took off in the direction of the town square, where the guard was staying.