Disappearing Act

It's been awhile.

I took some time for myself.

Painfully dusted off the things,

I've left neglected on the shelf.

There were so many things I wanted to say,

But had no one around to tell!

I took the advice,

Looked myself in the mirror.

But it left me empty,

And nothing came close to being clear!

They say this is all trial by error.

But these days that sort of optimism is rare.

My dad always says, "Son, keep your faith."

When death comes knocking,

Politely extend your hand,

And smile in his face.

When you forget all about the fear,

You become immune to life's trivial rat race.

We take it a day at a time.

Breath deep and say the words,

"Things will be fine."

But I've become numb by way of self medication.

Self prescribed with a different pretty distraction.

Asking them to leave before the end of the night.

Constantly hovering in the grey of what's right.

My dad always said, "Son, you got to stop digging your own grave."

Prayers go unnoticed, unappreciated,

In hopes that this defiant soul can be saved!

But don't get your hopes up!

Because I'm just not sure what you'll find,

Once you start peeling the rocks back from the mouth of that cave!

But It's been a while!

God damn it's been a while!

I took the time I needed,

To run from myself!

In hopes of surviving,

To escape my own hell!

I don't know if it'll get better,

But I hope it's something,

That in the end I can weather!

So keep the faith in me!

Have your fucking doubts!

Just keep the faith in me!