The winds had begun to calm.

A fraction of light broke free from the dark.

The fog had begun to lift.

And the swells withdrew their assault.

They say love will find a way.

Filling in the cracks the pain left behind.

Like rivers spread across the heart.

After the years of being lost,

Adrift alone on open seas.

We were like two ships in passing.

The solace you brought,

Dropped me to my knees.

Was this by chance?

Or more divine than I’d like to believe?

Like a breath of fresh air,

I finally found the desire to care.

You helped me believe,

What no one else could.

I started asking the questions,

I felt I never should.

In your patience,

I found my strength.

Shoulder to shoulder,

With my words I stood.

I’ll follow in your wake.

You’ll be my guide.

You’ll be my North Star.

With you I believe I can weather the storm.

And if you go down,

I swear I’ll follow into the abyss.

We’ll make our beds at the bottom.

With the sirens we’ll lay.

And with water in our lungs,

We’ll sing their songs.

Late night reminisce.

Been staring into the dark.

Filtering through all the things I miss.

We don’t talk.

Not much reason to.

That door slammed shut.

Things haven’t changed much.

Always on my mind.

A love hard to find.

I wonder how you’ve been.

Too afraid to reach out.

Refuse to with no goal in mind.

Started as a dream,

Ended as an afterthought.

While admirable at first,

It was a battle foolishly fought.

False hope,

Intertwined with naive delusion.

We were pages left unmarked,

Defined by our confusion.

Paths carved as one,

Only to part ways.

Feelings clear to some,

Yet obvious to none.

We had it too good.

It’s my fault for trusting.

We had it too good.

Got caught up in lusting.

We had it too good.

Been a constant struggle adjusting.

You continued on with everything,

Like nothing ever changed.

You left my world in ruin,

And nothing’s ever been the same.

Maybe a fact gone unnoticed.

But how does it feel,

Knowing you were my heaven,

But left me in my hell?

You were my heaven,

But left me in hell.

Wipe the tears from those eyes.

Listen to my words little one.

Nothing in our past can ever be undone.

It never really gets easy.

And no one ever really changes,

Unless they want to change.

I know the words hurt.

But honey you need to get back up,

And wipe away the dirt.

Walk tall my daughter,

And never forget from where you came.

Wear your name loudly,

Like the song bird sings.

I know your legs feel heavy,

And you may want to quit.

Don’t forget that you are perfectly imperfect.

Every diamond has their flaw.

I wouldn’t trade you for the world.

Only if you saw what I saw.

The beauty held within.

I just wish you’d take the time,

And take a look inside.

But you got caught up in all the lies...

Honey listen to my words!

’Cause their words don’t mean a goddamn thing!

You are beautiful!

You are beautiful!

Perfectly imperfect!

Every diamond has a flaw!

You are beautiful.

You are beautiful.

And their words don’t mean a goddamn thing.

Strip me down to nothing.

There won’t be much left.

Just bones bleached pale white.

Notched along the edge.

From years of neglected spite.

Much of the history we knew,

Fades from fact to lore.

No direction really in mind.

I just lay this road brick by brick.

The fog never really lifts.

The feelings are always mixed.

I’m a victim of generalizations.

Often forcing convoluted conversations.

This is what I’ve grown to hate.

Biting down on my own bait.

My words stumble from the start.

Empathy is absent upon delivery.

Despite good intentions from the heart.

Fallen from great heights,

I lashed out wounded,

While failing to hold it together.

Unrecognizable to say the least.

It stung too bad to open my eyes.

I dove deep into the black,

Once my purpose died.

We covered ourselves in dirt.

I ran out of breath.

I let go while you held on.

It’s silent beneath this ground.

Obvious more now that everything is gone.

I question the strength that’s left.

Can I continue to hold strong?

Or should I let the Earth collapse?

No one can ever tell me what’s best.

My heart asks for redemption.

But my mind begs for rest.

I seek you out.

Only to find justification in your absence.

Only to find justification in your absence.

The dust continued to collect.

For years I buried the book.

The words tasted bitter.

The world still felt wrong.

Your name rarely spoken.

No longer called for in song.

Families continue to pray.

Embrace me in their warmth.

Asking for my soul to be saved.

But who are you to ask for more?

My prayers went unheard for so long.

So I set out to prove them wrong.

They say you reap what you sow.

But I can’t continue to believe,

In what I don’t know.

What more did I have to give,

So you didn’t feel the need to take?

But there’s always a reason.

And to question any further,

Is to commit treason.

You did yourself no favors,

The day you took her from me.

A child new to this world.

A child I’d never know.

Do you hear my prayers now?

What do you have to say?

What do I have to show?

Don’t come back, I don’t need you.

Don’t come back, I don’t need you.

Don’t come back, I don’t need you.

Don’t come back.

A stranger in a room full of love.

Eyes locked in.

Fixated on the falling sphere above.

Glasses in the air.

Drinks on the ground.

A familiar silence embraces me,

Amongst the flurry of colors and sounds.

It’s a new year,

And I’m ready to repeat the process.

The clock strikes zero.

I’m met with the usual smiles.

Nothing more than masks,

Protecting the identity of the hero.

Confronted by the reflection,

What promises can be made?

Maybe to get out more.

Maybe to get laid.

In the end,

I just want to belong.

Not put my words into unheard songs.

It’s a new year,

But still the same me.

Still searching for that sense of home.

Still drowning in the past I know.

Tuning out the inner optimist.

Grasping at all of the chances I’ve missed.

So many questions.

Never enough answers.

Can I turn this around?

Will I continue to get lost in the crowd?

Is this the year I right my wrongs?

I’ll settle for any sort of love.

I just want to belong.

Tell me I belong.

Into the shadows I faded.

Disconnected from the world.

Avoiding being caught in the fray.

This wasn't the outcome that I hoped.

I guess it was my fault.

Betrayed by pride in the end.

Loneliness has set in.

And now Heaven and Hell are one in the same.

The inconsistencies of my actions,

Are now my claim to fame.

But how does a man recover?

Meet the standard expected of his name?

Stubborn in more ways than one.

My words spoke with a venom,

Always meant to kill,

Never set for stun.

Now I've become so jaded.

Stuck thinking of better times.

Before the love we had faded.

Like moonlight on water,

The pain reflects in your eyes.

We pass by from time to time,

Hardly ever looking up to give a glance.

But given the chance to turn back the clock,

I gladly would have let you sway me from my stance.

This is the beginning of the end.

We spoke the words,

But never believed we could still be friends.

The pages of history never forget.

Maybe we could rewrite it all?

Maybe we could get past all the regret?

Could we go back to the start?

Feel the way we did the day we met?

So...

Where do we go from here?

The sediment has been kicked up,

And no outcome seems to be clear.

Has our time finally passed?

Or does redemption draw near?

Are there any stones left unturned?

Tell me.

Where do we go from here?

The rebellion has begun!

Man turns on one another!

Heads bow beneath the gun!

Lives taken by those we once called brother!

Our faith has betrayed our trust!

Our blood stains the metal!

The metal begins to rust!

Who pulls the strings?

Look no further my sister,

Than the ones guilty of clipping your wings!

They buried us beneath the rubble!

Dragged to the bottom by the weight of the lies!

A bird imprisoned to the ground,

When meant for the skies,

Was always meant to die!

We've fallen faster than we had hoped.

We once fought for what was right...

Now plunge the knife deeper!

Choke on the Master's words!

Do the work for the Reaper!

We can't climb out of this fucking hole!

The sides just keep getting steeper!

The fires burn bright!

Close the doors on the weak!

Never even giving it a thought!

We built this hell,

But can we extinguish the flames?!

The Devil runs rampant!

But can we banish him back to where he came?!

We must continue the fight!

Or our names will be forgotten!

We must continue the fight!

Or our names will be forgotten!

Take back what was yours!

Place your faith within!

The Lord won't help us here!

Everything you ever wanted,

Will always be on the other side of fear!

We will prevail!

Dig in deep my friend,

We must raise the black sail!

We will no longer bend to their will!

For the hatred living inside,

We will kill!

We will prevail...

I rip the pages from the books!

But there's no answer to be found!

Of all the things I had to lose,

Why was she the one you had to choose?!

Drown in the pain of the past.

Blind to the progress I make.

Bitter to the very end.

Behind the smile I'm known to fake!

But I've got a story to tell my friend!

Bear with me for a minute,

While I struggle to make amends!

Like a storm of devastation!

I destroy all that I have.

In hopes of any sort of revelation!

But any hint of closure,

Is quick to be lost,

In the daily reminders of my actions,

And the heaviness of their cost!

My demons walk hand in hand.

The voices try and take control.

I entertain meaningless connections,

Hoping to fill the hole,

Left over from what you stole.

I thin my blood,

Make myself numb,

Put another bullet in the gun.

Nothing is ever what it seems.

Or at least that's what I figure,

As I put the pressure on the trigger!

Rip the pages from the books!

But no answer to be found!

Of all the things I had to lose,

Why was she the one you had to choose?!

Bring me back!

Bring me back to what I know!

If you won't let me go back,

Prove there's still good left to show!

Because right now I don't see!

I don't recognize the man in the mirror!

I'm still not the person I want to be!

Bring me back!

I weighed the options.

Consciously chose the way I did.

Some would argue,

I chose not to use my head.

But if we're going to be honest,

I knew before getting in that bed.

We laughed and smiled.

Things seemed too perfect.

Life was perfectly dialed.

Pull back the curtains.

Watch the flames.

Nothing was the same.

I packed my bags.

Fought through the tears.

Did my best to calm all those fears,

That belonged to the innocent.

This is what I wanted.

Running from the pain,

That continuously haunted.

We played house.

Stuck in the fantasy.

The guilt hasn't hit yet.

But theres hearts that bleed.

And in my head,

It's the shackles in which I've broken free.

But what cost,

Comes with my evil deeds?

Where did you go?

Everything you said,

Has me questioning everything I know.

I've got this empty house.

I've got nothing to show.

We wonder what could have been.

Yet that's as far as we go.

You made your life with him.

I held onto hope.

Hoped you'd change your mind.

Furiously questioned,

How you could be so blind.

Selfishly begged for you to be mine.

I held onto hope.

I'm home now.

Still holding onto hope.

But the laughter is gone.

Two worlds torn apart.

Four bleeding and wounded hearts.

Anger replaced love.

Resentment, not prayers,

Were directed up above.

I built these walls.

Stacked on the foundation of my prison.

Never did I heed any warning.

Choosing not to listen.

I've gained nothing.

But there's so much now that I'm missing.