Hold Onto Hope

I weighed the options.

Consciously chose the way I did.

Some would argue,

I chose not to use my head.

But if we're going to be honest,

I knew before getting in that bed.

We laughed and smiled.

Things seemed too perfect.

Life was perfectly dialed.

Pull back the curtains.

Watch the flames.

Nothing was the same.

I packed my bags.

Fought through the tears.

Did my best to calm all those fears,

That belonged to the innocent.

This is what I wanted.

Running from the pain,

That continuously haunted.

We played house.

Stuck in the fantasy.

The guilt hasn't hit yet.

But theres hearts that bleed.

And in my head,

It's the shackles in which I've broken free.

But what cost,

Comes with my evil deeds?

Where did you go?

Everything you said,

Has me questioning everything I know.

I've got this empty house.

I've got nothing to show.

We wonder what could have been.

Yet that's as far as we go.

You made your life with him.

I held onto hope.

Hoped you'd change your mind.

Furiously questioned,

How you could be so blind.

Selfishly begged for you to be mine.

I held onto hope.

I'm home now.

Still holding onto hope.

But the laughter is gone.

Two worlds torn apart.

Four bleeding and wounded hearts.

Anger replaced love.

Resentment, not prayers,

Were directed up above.

I built these walls.

Stacked on the foundation of my prison.

Never did I heed any warning.

Choosing not to listen.

I've gained nothing.

But there's so much now that I'm missing.