Flight of Change

When I was fifteen I did not want people to notice me. I was very shy but polite. I would not do things I wanted because of this. If I could not get someone else to be brave and do what I could not, I would just go without. A small example would be my mother wanting me to tell the clerk what kind of ice cream I wanted. If she would not order for me, I would decidedly not want ice cream anymore. I was the only one who suffered.

This lack of a voice, lack of confidence to get what I wanted did not hold me back the summer I was fifteen. My aunt was living in Texas and invited me for a visit. She fattened the invite by promising me that I would get to go to a real ranch horseback riding. I was not yet into boys at that age and dreamed only of horses. It was the opportunity of a life time to me. I could only dream of going to a real live horse ranch! I never thought through all the steps I would need to take to get to Texas from Wisconsin.

The first step I had to take was to convince my mother to agree to let me go. I enlisted the help of my aunt. My aunt researched the airlines procedure on a minor child flying without an adult and reassured my mother I would be well looked after. It took some begging and pleading with promises only a kid can make and she finely said yes. I was so excited about horseback riding on a ranch in Texas it was all I could dream about. I did not have a fear or care in the world.

The realization set in the night before I was to go to the airport. I had an over active imagination and all sorts of fears and “what ifs” churned in my mind. I could not sleep. All packed but still I double checked my bags. I still could not sleep. Book about horses, check. Walkman with a few favorite tapes, check. I guess I was ready. I remember a mix of excitement, but mostly fear.

The morning I was to leave I remember my butterflies had butterflies. Fear with a capital “F”. I lived in the country and going to Milwaukee was huge to me. Fear. The traffic was clustered and fast. Fear. The airport was huge and confusing. Fear. It was time to board the plane and say goodbye to my mother. Fear. The flight attendant who took me down the large dark corridor to my seat had a wonderful smile and was very friendly. I gulped and quietly answered her questions. Fear. The loud noise of the engine of the plane. Fear. The plane taxiing down the runway. Fear. Take off and the shaking and shuddering of the plane. Too late to turn back now. Fear.

I was never so happy to see my aunt in my life. She greeted me with a dozen yellow roses. The Austin airport was huge compared to Milwaukee. I made it!

I survived my trip. I saw and did many new things in Texas. I got to go to a horse ranch and ride as tumble weeds blew by. I was in heaven. The whole experience was amazing. It was easy to go do things and talk to people. I was a different me. I felt alive. I was living large. I was eager to go do and see anything my aunt had in our plans. I came home an experienced traveler. I did things on that trip that I would never have dreamed I could have or would have. My experience is best summed up by a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt, “The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.”