?
Do they know?
No. They don't know, they don't know the problems I drown in because I make them myself. A constant barrage of insults, never said allowed because the words are only meant for me.
Do they hear?
No. They don't hear the tears that fall on my pillow. They don't hear the sound of my voice screaming in my head.
Do they know?
No. They don't know I'm tearing at the seams, gripping and pulling trying to stay together.
Do they understand?
No. The problems I make for myself they wouldn't understand because they don't see how big they are to me. It is in the perspective and they simply don't see it
Would they understand?
No. They would tell me I've got it good and I shouldn't feel this pain. That only makes it worse. They wouldn't understand the sharp feeling that a light push will do, the faint lines no one will notice
Am I weak?
Yes. I drown myself in thoughts that are irrelevant about things I can't change. I can't push myself away from the darkness because I'm pulling myself towards it. I'm like the tide reaching out to the shore only to be dragged back in a never ending cycle.
Sincerely,
My thoughts