Love or Death

I hold your hand tightly

As if my grasp can keep you from falling away, from leaving me

I stare into your eyes, and I remember

I remember the nights lying on a blanket of quiet and fallen leaves in the park by your house

How you made funny faces and told me random little secrets you’d never told anyone before

And how you made me feel like I had everything and yet had nothing to lose

You were the only one who could tease me, without it feeling like an attack

Your words, however crude, were always precious to me

And even more so now

When I see the light slipping from your eyes when you look at me

When you whisper, “I’m sorry”

And turn your back, leaving me