Mornings, and Other Trials

     I wake at 5:45 every weekday morning.  And, now, sadly, my body is in the habit of waking me early, work or no.  Sometimes it's to fart, which I prefer to do in private.  But, most often it's to pee.  Either way, week day or no, I'm up early. 

    Today, on this particularly productive morning, I both fart AND pee.  I take it as a sign.  It's gonna be a good day.  After a workout, (just heart racing enough to say Yeah, I work out) I shower.  Noticing a layer of shower scum, after a hasty shower I scour it clean.  Toilet tank, too.

     All out of lotion, I tiptoe to my daughter's room (she still has a half hour of beauty sleep to get) and steal her lotion.  It actually was mine, before she stole it from me.  That bottle has moved from one to another in our family more than the last package of Oreo's.  I dress in undies that lift my butt, a bra that attempts to return my boobs to pre-breastfeeding perkiness, and clothes that make me look somewhere between trendy young adult (I'm not) and middle aged frump (I am).

     After styling my hair, colored so that my age and stress level are not readily apparent, I open the fridge to grab lunch.  The twelve day old deli meat doesn't grab me.  Last night's leftovers conjure up a noise in my belly I can only take as protest.  Cafeteria lunch it is! I grab my coffee and yell to my sleeping spouse and child "Time to get up"- wondering, not for the first time, why their alarm clocks (identical to mine) don't seem to work.  I close the door, not frazzled but triumphant!  A clean bathroom!  Another day successfully underway!