This isn't a joke. I am serious when I say that the laughter has been led to slaughter like the pigs we consume. I am so serious when I tell you that concern has fallen to the wayside, as dead and weightless as the last autumnal leaf. And I am absolutely serious when I state that love has been strangled by the clawed hands of enmity. There's a hunger- grotesque and selfish -that lingers in the collective gaze and it, itself, screams, "NO ONE EVEN SEES YOU..." while still conveying the spiteful fact that they can't WAIT to watch your collapse. Time is ticking... The elements of this life are shaded by banality; lackluster at every turn and she is GONE.
Never again will we genuinely laugh. No, what we emit is a forced cacophony of awkward, stilted tones. We feign concern because we know it's what's expected of humans. And love... We never even mention love because, without her, it doesn't exist. Why so serious...?
Because she is gone.
BECAUSE she is gone.
3 Jokes - A Little Humor For The Soul
A little boy goes to his father one day and asks, “Daddy, how was I born?’
The father answers, saying, “Well, son, I guess one day you were going to find out anyway.
“Your mom and I first met in an Internet chat room. Then I set up a date via email and we met at a cybercafe.
“We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.
“As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered neither of us had used a firewall.
“Since it was too late to hit the delete button, a little pop-up window appeared nine months later and said—you’ve got male.”
A teenage boy goes to church to confess his sins.
“Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I have had relations with a girl?”
The priest asks, “Is this Thomas O’Leary?”
“Yes father, it is.”
“And who was the girl you were with?”
“I can’t tell you Father. I don’t want to ruin her reputation.”
“Thomas, I am sure to find out her name sooner or later. Was it Rose Fitzgibbons?”
“I cannot say.”
“Was it Lisa O’Shanter?
“I’ll never tell.”
“Was it Cathy O’Dell?”
“I’m sorry but I cannot name her.”
“Was it Fiona Mallory?”
“My lips are sealed.”
“Was it Brenda Malloy. then?”
“Please Father, I cannot tell you.”
The priest sighs in frustration. “You are very tight-lipped and I admire you for that. But you have sinned and you must atone. You can no longer be an alter boy until four months have passed. Now go, and behave yourself.”
Thomas walks back to his pew, and his friend Sean, slides over next to him and whispers, “Well, what did you get?”
Thomas grins, saying, “Four months’ vacation and five good leads.”
A catholic priest is on his way to Rome when he runs into an old childhood friend.
“My goodness, Mart. It has been such a long time. How have you been?”
“Oh, it could be better. My husband, Robert and I have been trying to have children for fifteen years, but I’m afraid I am barren.”
“I’m so sorry,” says the priest. “I’m on a pilgrimage to Rome, and I promise to light a candle for you in the great cathedral.”
Mary thanks him and after a little more chatting, they part ways.
Five years later, the priest is eating dinner when he gets a knock on his front door. He opens it and to his surprise is Mary’s husband, Robert.
“I am so glad I found you!” Robert exclaims. “Remember that candle you lit for Mary, years ago? Well, Mary and I now have two sets of twins, and a set of triplets, and we just found out we are going to have quadruplets!”
Robert then hands the priest an all expenses paid ticket to Rome.
“Oh my, Robert. Your joy is my joy. You didn’t need to give me a thank-you gift.”
“Oh no, it isn’t a thank you,” says Robert. “It’s so you can go back there and blow out that damn candle.”
If by chance youfind any of these offensive,
I can always delete this post, but I thought they are funny.
PS: The monkey has a better smile than I do.
“Completely Automated Public Turing Test to Tell Computers and Humans Apart”
No, I'm not a robot.
Thanks for asking, though.
Here's the code you asked for:
Guess you really need that
catchy CAPTCHA phrase:
Morphing letters, numbers, lines
in strange & twisted ways.
Send me your free booklet
explaining all of life—
cleaning up my toxic soul
of pain & hate & strife.
And thank you for the discount
of 50 U$A
for the consultation course
of "Making It Your Way."
I'm looking for the answers
to life & death & all ...
By the way (if you might help)
Can you make me tall?
I like to think
I know the English language well,
but it’s no surprise it is difficult to learn.
Some would say it’s not for the weak,
stepping up to the bat
to conquer the knowledge,
and surely it will take more than a week
in bat country to master.
Maybe you could study in a park,
or by a river bank,
or even in your parked car
before going into the bank!
You could study
next to the well in the park,
or on your apartment stairs,
though you may get some stares,
but, oh well- at least you are learning!
Under the bright sun,
or next to a lamp in the evening,
there is no right or wrong.
Soon you will know
just how bright you are,
especially when you practice writing!
Keep up your determination,
don’t let it lessen,
you too can master
homonyms and homographs!
For now, however, my lesson
will come to a close.