Girl Scout Cookie Humor*

Aaaaarrrrrggghhhhhh. Don’t even mention Thin Mints. I was a Girl Scout, many moons ago when cookies were $.50 per box. Now they are $4.50 per box for what, 12 cookies? Anyway, my British grandmother, who had a proclivity for “biscuits”, wanted her precious granddaughter to win the cookie challenge every year, so she would purchase enough Thin Mints (ONLY Thin Mints) to propel me to the head of the troop.

Every time I would visit my grandparents, she offered them. “Would you like a snack dear?”

“Um, yes, please. Can I have an apple, or spinach, or liver?” I queried.

“Oh honey, how about some cookies and milk?” And I couldn’t say no–I wouldn’t want to hurt her feelings.

So it began. Every “cookie time” (there were two selling seasons per year) I would try not to say anything to grandma until she would phone and say, “Honey, I saw Girl Scouts selling cookies at the grocery store today. Is your troop selling them yet?” Gulp. “I’ll take 142 boxes of Thin Mints.”

I even wrote to the Girl Scouts of America, begging them to stop selling Thin Mints. Anything but Thin Mints, I pleaded. They would then tell me how successful Thin Mint sales were over the years, and I just wanted to scream, “Yes, because my grandma buys them ALL!!” My pleading and tears and juvenile diabetes did nothing to sway them. To this day, Thin Mints are still the most popular Girl Scout cookie, and, to this day, I shudder when it’s “cookie time.”

Four years later, after being a Brownie and Junior, I retired from scouting. And what was my pension? Thin Mints for the next 16 years because, did you know, if you freeze them they last FOREVER!

*Previously written but adapted for this challenge.