Pornpals (Strong Language)

Shelby and Hedge stood in the empty parking lot, heads cranked back and looking up, hands against their forehead to block the midday sun. Neither realizing the hats they wore backwards would do a better job.

Shelby broke the silence, "There is no fucking way we're keeping a 12 foot, inflatable, wacky-waving dildo in front of our store."

"Why not," Hedge asked offended.

"I mean, where would you even buy something like this? Why? Do I really have to stand here while this giant dick slaps me in my face and explain to you why we can't keep it," Shelby asked trying to maintain his civility with his best friend.

"We're a fucking porn shop, we sell dildos. It isn't all that crazy," Hedge said defiantly.

"Dude, it has to break some kind of law, or city ordinance or something. Besides, it looks like a flaccid dick the way it's all bent over and flapping. Like somebody's trying to slap it to get it hard," Shelby said. "Do we really want an impotent wiener to be our logo?"

"Wait a minute," Hedge said wryly, "Are you mad that it's a dick, or that it's a sad, soft dick?"

"What, both, wait, that it's a dick," Shelby said, "We can't have a dick in the fucking parking lot. We're done here."

Hedge, seizing this rare opportunity to one-up his best friend, continued, "Because I'm sure I can find a way to keep it hard if that's how you like your dick,"

"Go fuck yourself," Shelby said as he turned around and headed back into the store."

Hedge, taking one last look up at the erratic phallus, sighed "Cockblocked."