I’ve had So Much Fun!

It feels like I have won a piece of youth back! Through all of this you'll find at the corner of my eye sometimes, tears of joy that I hold back. I am simply blown away at how much better I feel. After this much time out of the hospital I know this feeling is real, and the euphoric feeling that follows could only be coined happiness.

Having lived through such an expierience i am ravenous for life! To live and thrive as I've promised myself I'd do, after I decided if i really hate myself I'd never kill me. The reason being I'd make myself live and suffer. That was in some of the first years of the pain. I feel I've regained the ability to be fully aware, and awake, and i maintain that I won't end me but now it is for a different reason.

i have foumd hope again, and I'm going to take this as an opportunity to be even truer to me than ever before (with the rest of the world still considered of course) and throw myself into a period of self development. I am relevant and plan to make my actions match that truth.

I'll be the proof..... just, please, don't call me puddin'.....