Dad,

I didn’t come all this way

To be turned down now.

I’ve put too much time into this,

Too much effort, too many nights,

Sleepless days, anxiety attacks,

Emotional breakdowns, loneliness,

Suicide attempts, heart break,

First love, second and third,

People I could have met but didn’t.

Things I should have done but wouldn’t.

And I could go on!

Really, I could tell you about

The places I never strayed to,

Because I waited for you.

The opportunities I left behind,

The happiness I neglected, because you-

You held out something better to me.

And now, here I am, with

Pencil and paper and moist eyes.

Hand cramps and raw fingers,

A bad posture and poor vision.

I waited on you, I hoped

I dreamed you would praise me,

Hell, even look my way.

But you can’t stand to see me.

Because I am a waste to you-

I am nothing but words and lines

And stories and tears and pleasure

And memories and pangs you loved so,

But wished never happened.