A Heart Amongst the City

She held onto him

as if he were the only

thread that would hold her up

in order to face the world

that laughed at her pain 

with no remorse or regret

But he held her heart within

a birdcage and let it

out only when his pleasure 

awakened him, and only

when his thoughts

told him to do so

So she wandered the nights alone

and crept through the hallways alone

and sang to the sparrows alone

and whispered to the spirits alone

in the comfort of the sofa

in the comfort of her nightgown

in the comfort of the television light

She was too afraid to let go of

this thread, for all that

lies ahead is the unknown

and she would think to herself

about how much scarier it might

be to face this reality with

no one to turn to

No one who could truly love her

No one who could understand her

No one who could get inside her

She would have to waste more

time pretending to enjoy

herself for the sake of the fear

that consumed her body

and the voices that told her

to stay, though she really wanted to leave

So she smiled, as the sun made

it's way down, passed the street-lamps

covered in candy enamel and sulking pedestrians

Lost in fake devotion

Lost in false emotion

Lost in the world's commotion