it is

surprisingly painful

                              (like being stabbed 

                                   in the heart 

                              with shards of pasta)

to be compared

with someone

you know

you can never catch up to

                                        (a person with innate ability,

                                  better parents who are more invested,

                                                  and dedication)

and every time

it makes me hate myself 

                                     (for being jealous, 

                              and for not being enough)

more, and more