Damned
Damned if you do,
Damned if you don't,
Damned if she will,
And damned if she won't,
Like it or not,
It's out of your hands,
You gotta do,
What she demands,
Sometimes she spreads,
Like a butterfly,
But take her to bed,
Where she'll say its a lie,
You turn to the left,
She says "That's not right!"
The bed sheets are beige,
She says they are white!
Damned if you do,
Damned if you don't,
Sometimes it's whatever,
Floats her boat,
You try to sing,
To her a sweet tune,
She says, "Pick up your clothes,
And leave the room!"
You gotta do,
What she demands,
Because she's holding,
Your balls in her hands,
Who says a womans,
Grip isn't strong,
She twists them harder,
You must follow along,
Damned if she hits you,
You don't dare strike back,
Just keep taking the beatings,
And taking her flack,
Damned if you cry,
damned if you weep,
"Go sleep in that corner!"
Where you slowly creep,
Damned if you do,
Damned if you don't,
The hard floor again,
How can you cope,
Your blood on the carpet,
You pray it won't stain,
If it doesn't come out,
You will suffer more pain,
The bruises that cover,
Your body and face,
Nobody believes you,
Beaten up and disgraced,
She says drink this swill,
You drink right from the bottle,
But your getting fat too,
She says you've got a wattle,
She seems to find fault,
In all that you do or say,
Damned just for speaking,
That your damned every day,
Damned if you do,
Damned if you don't,
"Let's both go to bed,"
But she hands you your coat,
Damned if you don't,
Damned if you do,
You said it was love,
She calls it a screw,
She said a real man,
Is handsome and true,
You told her your son,
Looks nothing like you!
"You dirty bastard!"
"You cheating bitch!"
Trading something honest finally,
Now there's a switch!
Damned if you don't,
Damned if you do,
She's giddy with power,
Your feeling blue,
You drink whiskey,
She drinks rye,
Tell her the truth,
She says it's a lie,
You just had one drink,
She says you are drunk,
She gets the bed,
Then points to the bunk,
Damned if you do,
Damned if you don't,
She got the castle,
You got the moat,
Damned if you do,
Damned if you don't,
She shows you the door,
But you have the keys,
Is this déjà vu,
If you beg her please,
Coat still in hand,
You head for the door,
Damned if you do,
Damned if you don't,
She says you will,
You say you won't,
She calls the police,
They take you away,
Her word against yours,
What could you say?
Damned if you do,
Damned if you don't,
She gets the house,
The judge says you won't,
You go to jail,
She's got you out,
Damned if you do,
Damned if you don't,
You get the swill,
She gets her way,
Nothing to eat,
Not for today,
Damned if you do,
Damned if you don't,
You shake your head in frustration,
While she happily gloats,
She's eating lobster,
You're eating crow,
She says that's fair,
You say it ain't so,
She gets all the alimony,
All you can afford is all baloney,
Damned if you do,
Damned if you don't,
She's taken every,
Cent that you saved,
Saying you never,
Learned to behave,
Well I have a lesson,
That'll sure get your goat,
Your damned if you do,
And damned if you don't!