Funeral

The sun is shining,

Yet all I see is black.

The pastor

Rambles on,

Speaking words

That mean nothing

Other than for everyone

To feel closure-

But that is the complete opposite of what I feel.

There has been a gaping chasm

Since you died

And I have been teetering on the edge of it,

Tempting fate,

Peering over the edge and wondering

If the plunge would truly be worse than living

There are flowers,

And they are scentless,

But to me they smell like death.

They line the pews

And their petals scatter among the aisle,

And they remind me I'm falling apart.

People are listening and there are tears

Pooling at the feet of demise.

Just because you can't see my pain,

Slicing down the skin of my cheeks,

Does not mean that there aren't shadows

Ripping away at my viscera.

My vocal cords,

Are shredded.

I can't scream any longer,

And still no one has heard me.

I am lost in the remnants that you left behind

And I don't think I'll ever get free.