Regarding Erotica on Prose 2

First, for everyone on here who thinks I'm out to criticize them for writing erotica, I do so myself. [Ok, it's only about my husband and I - but I enjoy writing it]. I've never posted any, for the obvious reasons it's personal.

So if I write erotica why do I not write any that's not personal and post it? There's more than one reason, but even if my beliefs allowed it, I was raised in an extremely strict environment by most standards, and would forever be the black sheep of the family if my relatives ever came across it (they know my pen name and that I write on Prose). And the attachment to my family (we are writing about rejection for this week's Prose Challenge, after all) would be stronger than my willingness to write and post erotica. That said, I am not against anyone on here who writes it.

My concern regarding erotica is not even just about minors, for those who want to argue that point. (I agree with sandflea68, they know a lot more than we do these days. With sex ed in school, we're not exposing them to a whole lot if any they haven't been taught already or figured out. And yes, if they see something labeled erotica, most will probably read it anyway, as HazardRabbit put it).

A lot of people out there on Prose have been molested or raped. Some have OCD which means these sexual themes are more disturbing to them than the ordinary person would think twice about. Still others have been through other traumatic experiences such as recovery from their partner's affair, which triggers a host of painful memories when they accidentally come across something like this. It is for these people as well I started this discussion.

I usually do scan something before I read it to someone else. A lot of commenters to my last post, Regarding Erotica on Prose, have said I should. Thank you for your advice – but that's not been an ongoing mistake. (The few times you don't you quickly learn from).

A couple of people commented they've seen graphic images attached to erotica outside of the designated portal. This has never happened in my experience. It would be appropriate of others to refrain from attaching graphic images to posts outside the designated erotica portal. (It's one thing to read a few lines and see where the piece is going and skip it, it's totally another to see an image). Prose is about writing, after all, as HazardRabbit mentioned.

If anyone is going to post an erotic post to a challenge outside the designated erotic portal (which they absolutely should be able to), it would be considerate of them to flag it erotica, unless the challenge specifically mentions “sexy haiku” etc. For anyone posting to a love poem challenge, obviously they should expect to see some erotica. It is hard to know where to draw the line.

For those of you who forget to mark it or flag it, understandable – no hurt feelings. We're all human. I appreciate the efforts so many of you have made. The few times you haven't didn't register with me. For those of you who've not felt the need or been asked to mark it before, that's something I'm asking you to be willing to consider. If you consider it too much of an inconvenience, don't. Everyone on here has equal rights and freedoms and should be able to exercise them. The beauty of Prose is being able to do that. The difficulty is knowing how to each use our liberties without overlapping them to the offense of someone else.

Prose is an open and welcoming community of writers. It is because of my belief in diversity I knew I could post this even though I understood other people would disagree. And I'm all for that – I expected it. I knew we could say what we thought and felt in a respectful and friendly manner, as we have. So I wanted to open this up to discussion for everybody and see where it would lead. We have people on here of all beliefs and preferences and I want to know if others feel this is even an issue; if so, if they feel the solution I've suggested is sufficient or overboard or something they'd be willing to consider; if they don't like it, what they would do to fix it; and how to work together to achieve that without trampling on anyone's rights or feelings.

I do not believe Prose should censor our work for us or require it. However, I think it would be considerate if others labeled or flagged their work as containing erotic/mature content if it is outside the designated erotic portal. If you forget, no big deal. We're human. If you don't know how (and Broken-Toe, I'm with you on learning all this social media stuff and how the site works), then fine. (Perhaps you could indicate sexual content by the title or early on in the piece?) If you don't feel you should have to just for the sake of someone else, don't bother.

However, if you feel labeling/flagging your work is just for the sake of someone else and that interferes with your rights, consider the fact that everything is labeled in life for our convenience and that of others. Movies and video games, for example. Ok, so maybe you're one of those people who doesn't care what's in it, just bring it on! But the majority of people – and you do want your work to be read by others, or you wouldn't post it – like to know what's in something before they read it or watch it or play it.

Even going to the grocery store. We like to know whether it's aspirin or tylenol. Labels help us figure that out. If you feel you shouldn't have to label it, consider the fact you're not just warning people who don't want to read it – you're letting people who do want to that it's out there. It's easier to find erotica outside its designated portal if it's marked. If you still don't feel like flagging it or know how, maybe try letting readers know by the title or within the first paragraph.

Ruby Pond mentioned it would be easier if we could control who sees our work. Monitoring who you follow as Soulhearts mentioned would be a limited way to do that. I don't think that will be a possibility due to the widespread nature of digital content. Even with books marked through traditional publishers, you can't control whether a sixteen year old in Walmart is going to pick up a copy of your latest romance novel or not.

TheTallOne had a good comment when he mentioned that labeling/flagging a work as erotica when submitting it to the Prose Challenge would probably turn people away before they even gave the piece a chance. Everyone has their own tolerance level. If you felt obligated to flag your piece but it only contained a brief mention or more of sex, a lot of people might not read it when they would have liked it otherwise. If it contained heavy erotic content, people offended by that would probably never like or repost your piece, even if it hadn't been flagged before they read it. Again, where do you draw the line?

Maybe a solution would be, if submitting it to a Prose Challenge or “paying challenge,” ie so many coins or dollars to the winner, to indicate by the title or early on in the piece whether it contains erotic content. (After all, if that's what the piece is mainly about or heavily saturated with, why not?) On the other hand, if it only contains a minor theme of sex, don't worry about flagging or labeling it. If, however, you're submitting an erotic piece to a challenge outside the designated erotic portal and the challenge is not paying or marked erotic/sexy haiku/love poem etc, then you could do everyone a favor and label it.

The Tall One had another good comment regarding violence. Where do you draw the line there? Personally sexual content bothers me when it's not flagged more than violence does, so that's why I didn't include it. (See how long this discussion comments and post on erotic writing is already?) But I'm sure there are people out there who object to that as well. And there are people who'd prefer you didn't talk about the Democrats. And there are people who are against hunting. I'm not one of those, so I didn't post it. But to be fair, if we label erotica should we label everything else?

That kind of takes all the fun out of writing and leaves us with a bunch of rules, in my opinion. Plus, there's no portals just for hunting pieces, so it's not like they have a designated place to go, like erotica does. Maybe they'd have to fit in the violence category? We could get so legalistic over this Prose wouldn't be the place for us it all currently is. Just hear everyone's side out, and try to be considerate in the ways suggested if you write it, and not too offended if you come across it and it's not marked, I suppose.

A lot of content that contains sexual themes is not necessarily erotic in nature. Erotica, in my opinion, includes the describing of sexual acts or events, for the excitement of the reader and/or to portray the excitement of the one involved in the acts. A lot of pieces contain sexual references or mention without going into detail, simply because sex is part of life. I'm not worried about pieces that mention it in brief or passing as a fact of life rather than for the reasons I gave that in my opinion define erotica.

In the end, the responsibility does come down to the reader. I agree with all commenters on that. But it would be nice for everyone to take responsibility for what they write. Please remember we can't unread something.

Soulhearts has presented great strategies in her comments under my original post, Regarding Erotica on Prose. RubyPond has presented a great solution in her comments under this post. Please see both of these and my response.

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and comments. Feel free to add anything else below, or to see my original post, Regarding Erotica on Prose, if you missed it.