FAKE NEWS!!!!!!

Not even air is safe anymore! A recent study by some random dude in a lab coat has shown that every person who has ever gotten lung cancer breathed air! Clearly, this shows that air is a very dangerous carcinogen. Take our advice! If you don't want to get lung cancer, stop breathing air! It's harmful to your well-being and contains oxygen, a deadly poison! However, if you're looking for a healthy alternative to air, try our brand new, state-of-the-art, TruHealthAir breathing units! They create carbon dioxide, which is proven to be completely harmless to life*, so you can breathe healthily. Don't miss our special sale! ONLY $90 IF YOU BUY NOW! Act quickly, before they're gone and you have to breathe air!

*plant life only, every other real scientific institution has already proven that humans and other animals need oxygen to breathe