When?

God, when did death become real to me?

Was I still innocent and young?

or Was I disenchanted by life?

Do you have to realize life sucks to realize everything ends in death?

I lost my best friend when I was 8. She was my Great Grandmother,

My namesake,

My friend.

She used to hold me in her arms and teach me how to read.

She told me when I was 3, I told her she would die when she was 80.

She died 5 days after she turned 80.

She left me her jewelry, and I wear something of hers everyday.

My girlfriend killed herself when I was 14. I wasn't even out to my family yet.

How do I tell my family I loved her more than they realize?

My sisters father died slowly from liver failure. I had to watch her cry herself to sleep knowing that she might not see him tomorrow. She went from middle school to spending every evening in the hospital talking to her father. He died 5 days after her birthday.

My sister stayed home one day because she didn't feel good. I was pulled out of school because my sister was in ICU, puking up blood. She wasted away from 160 pounds, to 100 pounds. Her gallbladder was causing ulcers in her stomach. If they didn't discover it when they did, I might not have a sister today.

I ended up going through a windshield. I lost so much blood, they didn't think I would make it.

Maybe that's when it became real.