This just in...

One day, which seems not too long ago, I visited the bank and deposited three checks for my mother. Not five minutes waiting in the mobile teller line, which was six cars deep - I, of course, was number seven - police cars came racing into the parking lot with their lights on and sirens blaring. As I ate my Big Mac awaiting my turn, I passed the time counting all nine squad cars frantically communicating their ten-codes to each other.  

"You! Inside! This is Captain Welevenworth.  Come out with your hands up!"

Not twelve seconds later, the MS-13 gang member, like something out of a movie, came busting through the front door with his Glock 14 aimed directly at the fifteen officers surrounding the perimeter.  Six teens stood watch across the street on 17th ave, waiting to celebrate their buddy's 18th birthday on this, the 19th of April.  Who knew that their party would instead consist of twenty seconds of pure terror!  As the birthday boy silenced his Google Music app, which was playing the latest 21 Pilots song, he switched to his camera and recorded all of the action.

In an instant, 22 rounds ripped through the twenty three year old assailant, leaving him dead on the sidewalk.  What seemed like 24 gallons of blood spilled out of his dead body, slowly draining into the gutter on the corner of 25th Street.  

Twenty six days later, Joshua, the birthday boy, had to testify for 27 minutes in front of a room full of jury members and spectators.  He couldn't believe a mere 28 days ago he was getting ready to celebrate with his friends, when his life got turned upside down.  Little did he know that channel 29 would love his look and offer him a 30 thousand dollar job as a special assistant to the thirty one year veteran of the local news channel.  

Joshua would make it a career, eventually surpassing his mentor with his own 32 years and a record 33 million dollar salary!

Who knew a cheap $34 phone would have such life impact.