things can never be the same.
they can never be the same, ever, you know,
like every second changes us.
we're changed.
things can never be the same.
they always become different,
and one of those things that
can never be the same,
like the way you look at somebody
like the way you see them and then
you don't see them like that anymore
because of some stupid thing they said,
one of those things that can never be the same, maybe,
like how you used to think something of somebody
but then they kind of let you down and now
they aren't like this magical thing anymore,
like now they're just this weird thing.
just this plain thing,
like how you can live by the andes mountains for like two years
and it starts out magic and great and cinematic
and then they're not really the andes anymore just the
mountains behind your house you lose appreciation and
they're just not the andes, anymore, they aren't
this picture thing that you had on like
this postcard they just
stop being magic,
like they're not the andes mountains, anymore, they're just this thing that
scratches its balls and has to brush its hair and smokes too many cigarettes,
and you kind of start resenting the andes mountains, because the andes mountains
won't stop eating all the chocolate ice cream without asking if maybe you want
a bite of the chocolate ice cream, too?
and they just kind of lose their magic.
and maybe one of those things that stopped being magic is like
...
me?
i stopped being magic?
maybe it was me who stopped being magic to you?
yeah, well, how dare you?
how do you just do that to somebody?
you tell them that they're significant and important and that they mean something and then all of a sudden they just don't, anymore?
like they did and it was true and then you could just turn the light off and never think about it, again?
like some little switch, or something, that you can just turn on and off inside yourself?
like today i mean something, but tomorrow i might not?
so how do i deal with this?
just pretend every moment with you was as precious and significant as you told me i
was? rub these moments over and over in my head, or something, and then those
precious and significant moments will just get faded and then i'm just left with
the worn idea of like this thing that used to be really important but now it's just not, anymore? like me?
like i don't know a lot about anything, and i know that we're all just these tiny little
insignificant things, but maybe we're not so insignificant like meaning nothing, but just
insignificant in a kind of way where we all seem small, but maybe we're all just these tiny
little screws in this monster machine that's actually doing something, but we're just screws so we can't understand what we are, but wasn't love supposed to mean something?
like maybe love was supposed to be the screws holding all our metal sheets together or something but you just stuck nails in my metal sheets?
like if we were airplanes; nails can't hold metal sheets together at these high altitudes and these kinds of speeds and i trusted you.
i thought it meant something!
was it that i was never really like magic to you?
maybe i was just some trick? like i'm entertaining the first time and the second time
and maybe even the third time, but then i get old and boring, and i was a cool novelty,
but never a real person, and now i'm just this ball-scratching,
chocolate ice-cream devouring, cigarette-smoking thing?!
fuck you.