Let It Rippppppp

         To this day, I still get small chills from this story. Now we know, a lot of people wear contacts. Well, I do … sometimes. However, I don’t have your average contacts, nor did I have an average fitting. I have what are called gas permeable lens, which are small plastic lens. They hurt like hell in your eyes, and they irritate your eyes very easily. Well, boy did I have a horrible fitting with them. The eye doctor put them in for me, so I didn't touch my eye the first time.

         Well, immediately my body tried rejecting them, because it was pretty much plastic in my eyes, so I started feeling sick to my stomach. I told the doctor I felt like I was gonna throw up, so he had me stand up and come over to the sink. I went to rest my arms on the sink, and boy did I let a nice big fart rip, right in the middle of the doctors office. Of course I started feeling dizzy right at that moment, and my reaction time was weakened so all I did was laugh and say, “Well that one come out the wrong end.” Now looking back at that, I am very, very embarrassed, but honestly I was acting so doped up from everything that was happening that even though I remember what happened, I wasn’t in control of any of it.

         The next part was also rather amusing as well. Next I had to go and sit down with this lady, and she would show me how to get them out, and make sure I can put them in myself. Well she showed me a trick to take them out without touching my eyes, because the first time I did it, was a disaster. I went to take them out, and the contact slipped off my pupil and onto the white part of my eye, so naturally, I began freaking out so automatically my body shut down and I passed out cold in the doctor's office. I was later told that I was the worst fitting they have ever had in over twenty years. So even though it was embarrassing, I feel somewhat achieved, because we all know that there’s no way anyone’s gonna be able to live up to that one!